And Justice For All
by darkin520
Summary: In the wake of a terrorist threat, the seaQuest crew must help an underwater colony. But when things don't go as planned and Nathan is presumed dead, how will the crew survive? When it comes to light that he was merely a pawn in a diabolical game, can the crew save him and the future? First season. AU.
1. Halls Of Justice, Painted Green

**A/N: I was going to wait on this story, but my muse just won't quit, so I finally had to give in and start it. Now, please know I will be finishing Moments Like This and Remember When. Moments is nearly finished; Remember When has about a dozen chapters to go, I think. I will, however, be deleting Checkmate for now. I just don't have the time to finish it, but I will bring it back when I am more in the mindset to actually work on it.**

**I thought a good starting point for this story would be after 'Hide and Seek'. I'm going to be bringing in some third season villains, so I'm going AU, though I will try to keep canon as much as possible. Also, please know I am going to take some risks in this one. While things might look horrible on the surface, everything may not be as it seems. I ask that you please trust me, though. I promise you a good story, as always.**

**Disclaimer: SeaQuest DSV and its characters are not my creation. They are the creation of Rockne S. O'Bannon as a 1990's television series. This work of fanfiction is for entertainment purposes only and is not for financial gain. I am just borrowing the characters for a bit and promise to return them unharmed and in their original condition, maybe just a bit happier.**

**Chapter 1**

**UEO Headquarters, Pearl Harbor **

"No, Frank, you can't do this," Bill Noyce insisted. "Distress call or no, I don't agree with this."

General Frank Thomas crossed his arms and gave the admiral a glare. "This isn't something up for negotiation, Bill. Elysium colony put out a distress call, and-"

"They're in open territory," Bill interrupted.

"Because of a terrorist threat," General Thomas continued. "Considering _seaQuest is_ a peacekeeping vessel, I see no reason why they can't help them."

"It's dangerous."

"No more dangerous than dealing with a Serbo-Croat dictator."

Bill pursed his lips, knowing he was defeated in his reasoning.

The general sighed. "Look, I understand your concerns; I really do. But we're not talking about a colony in open territory. We're talking about human beings in danger. They sought us out. If we don't help them, they could die. We're taking the threat very seriously, and-"

"What do you know about this terrorist group?" Bill interrupted again.

"Not much. They call themselves the Macronesian Demons."

Bill scoffed. "What does that even mean?"

The general shook his head. "Hell if I know. They're a small group out of Australia."

"Al Qaeda affiliated?"

The general shook his head. "Not this time. _That _would be easy; at least we'd know what the motives are. I'm not quite sure what these guys want; neither does the rest of the brass. They don't have a lot of attacks under their belts. As far as I know, this is their first major threat. Led by a man by the name of Alexander Bourne. That's about all I've got, but you know in this day and age, all threats must be treated as though they're legitimate. They're threatening to take over the colony…and do Lord knows what else there."

"What about the colony?" Bill asked. "What are the people like?"

"It's a small community; they tend to keep to themselves. It's only a little over a thousand people, but they haven't done anything to provoke an attack. Look, we can stand around talking about this all day while those people are running out of time."

"We don't negotiate with terrorists."

"I'm not asking for negotiations. _SeaQuest _has torpedoes for a reason, Bill."

"Nathan will never agree to it."

The general frowned and crossed his arms. "He will if I have anything to do with it. Are you going to talk to him or am I?"

"I'll handle it."

"Fine, have it your way. But don't think I won't step in if he gives you any lip."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_**seaQuest, **_**800 miles off the Southern coast of Australia **

"Good morning, Doctor," Nathan greeted, bumping into Kristin in the corridor. "Heading to the mess for breakfast?"

"Actually, no," Kristin replied. "Lucas and I have been working on a little experiment with Darwin, and it's getting to be crunch time. We have to finish by the end of the week."

Nathan frowned. "You're not going to eat breakfast?"

She smiled softly. "I had coffee and a muffin already; not to worry."

"I was just hoping to eat with you, that's all."

"Oh, well, I'm sure I can sacrifice twenty minutes for lunch; what do you say?"

"I say you have a deal. We can discuss a time after the staff meeting."

She looked at her watch. "Oh, I'd forgotten that there was a staff meeting today."

"It is Monday," Nathan reminded her.

She nodded. "Well, I don't mean to be rude, but I really need to hurry. If you see Lucas, please tell him to head to the lab right away." She hurried off down the corridor, but called back, "I'll see you at the staff meeting."

"Sure thing," he muttered with a shake of his head. Since Kristin had sent Malcolm on his way a few weeks earlier, Nathan had been trying to have a little time alone with her. He wanted to speak with her seriously, but their work interfered. When she had a bit of free time, he couldn't get away from the bridge...and vice versa. He sighed and headed towards the mess, deciding it would happen when the time was right and not before.

He selected a breakfast sandwich and a coffee and looked around the room for a place to sit. He happened to see Lucas sitting at a table in the back and decided to eat with him.

"Morning, kiddo," Nathan said cheerily as he sat.

Lucas smiled. "Morning."

"I hear you have a busy day ahead of you, which reminds me; the doctor wants you in the lab as soon as possible." He took a bite of his sandwich.

"Yeah, I know. We've been working on a language experiment with Darwin, but it's not exactly going as well as we'd hoped. If we don't finish it by the end of the week, the funding for it will be pulled; that means we'll need to move on to something else. The doc is dead set against that."

"As she should be." However, Nathan noticed the doubtful look Lucas was wearing. "You don't think so?"

Lucas shrugged. "I just think it might be too much pressure on Darwin. We've been working on it for nearly a month, and he hasn't gotten it. I think it's about time we throw in the towel."

"Well, be that as it may, I think you should admire the doctor's tenacity. She might prove you wrong, you know."

"Maybe," Lucas said, taking the last piece of orange off his plate and popping it into his mouth.

"I trust you'll listen to her," he said warningly.

"I've been a perfect angel so far," he said innocently. "Don't worry; I haven't told her what I really think."

"Good," Nathan said, giving his shoulder a squeeze. "Now I-" At that moment, Nathan's PAL unit beeped, however. Nathan took it off of his belt and answered. "Bridger."

Lieutenant O'Neill's voice said, "Captain, you have an emergency phone call from Admiral Noyce."

"I'll take it in the science lab; I'm in the mess hall now. I'm on my way," Nathan replied. "Thank you, Mr. O'Neill."

"You're welcome, sir."

Nathan put his PAL unit away and looked at Lucas. "Well, change of plans. I'll walk with you to the lab?"

Both men took care of their trays and started toward the lab. Once there, Kristin greeted them both with a smile. "Lucas, I'm so glad you're here. Can you start programming this list into the vocoder." She handed him a file folder.

"Sure thing," Lucas replied, giving Nathan a bit of an eye roll, which Kristin didn't see.

"Remember what I said," Nathan told him.

Lucas gave him a salute. "Aye, sir."

"See you at the staff meeting."

Lucas gave him a wave as he headed out of the lab toward the moon pool.

"Not very enthusiastic, is he?" Kristin noted worriedly.

"Did he say anything to you?"

She shook her head. "But I can tell he'd rather be doing something else." She sighed. "I just feel like we're so close. I'm not giving up until the very last minute."

"And I wouldn't expect you to. Um, as much as I'd love to talk to you about this, I have another agenda, unfortunately. Do you mind if I used the vid-phone in your office? I've a call from the admiral, and since I was nearby…"

"Oh, go right ahead. The door's open. Everything all right?"

"I don't know yet; I guess we'll find out."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan entered Kristin's office and closed the door behind him. He then hit the answer button on the vid-phone.

"It's about damn time, Nathan," Bill greeted in annoyance.

"I was in the middle of breakfast," Nathan explained apologetically. "I got here as fast as I could. Something's wrong?"

"We have a rather delicate situation on our hands, yes," Bill replied.

General Thomas stepped into the camera view. "And it'll be in your best interest not to argue, Captain," he warned.

"You said you'd let me handle this, Frank," Bill countered.

"I wanted to be sure he knew where the orders were coming from, that's all." The general, however, obediently stepped out of the view of the camera once again.

Nathan sighed. If General Thomas was involved, this was definitely not good. "What's the situation?"

"We've received a distress call from the Elysium Underwater Colony; Elysium is located three hundred miles off the Western coast of Australia."

"That's open territory. We have no jurisdiction there."

"I did mention it was a delicate situation," Bill said. "And you're right; normally we wouldn't get involved, but they sought us out. They've received what we're considering to be a serious threat from a terrorist group, and they need our help."

General Thomas leaned over Bill's shoulder. "This is not up for discussion, Captain."

"What exactly do you want us to do?"

"You have torpedoes; use them," the general replied bluntly.

"You want us to hunt them down and kill them?"

"You're a smart man, Captain. You figure it out."

"_SeaQuest _is a peacekeeping vessel, Frank," Nathan reminded him.

"Which is exactly why we need your boat." The general narrowed his eyes at him.

"I'd rather see what we can do to help the colony," Nathan countered. "Isn't there another way?"

"We don't negotiate with terrorists, Nathan," Bill reminded gently. "You can't reason with them."

"I have strong convictions against this."

"You should know as well as I that there isn't always a place for morals in situations like this," General Thomas replied, a hint of anger in his voice.

"There is always room for morals, sir, and there must be another way," Nathan replied.

"You better not be thinking of putting the lives of your crew in danger, Nathan," Bill told him.

Nathan shook his head. "Of course not, but murder is not necessarily the answer. We do that, we're only stooping to their level."

The general frowned. "I honestly don't care how you do it, but you make sure this colony is safe. But you remember that safety is the first priority here. If any of those colony members die…or any of your crew…those lives will be on you, you hear me?"

"Loud and clear," Nathan replied.

"I'm giving you twelve hours," the general stated. "If there is no progress on the situation whatsoever, we do things my way, understood?"

"Yes, General," Nathan replied through gritted teeth.

"Good luck, Nathan. Keep in touch," Bill replied, a hint of apology in his voice.

Nathan nodded. "I will," he said before cutting the link. "Damn," he muttered under his breath; he then opened the door.

Kristin was standing there, a sheepish look on her face. "I wasn't trying to eavesdrop. I just needed something out of my office, but I didn't want to interrupt. Did I hear yelling?"

"General Thomas gave me strict orders," he told her. "Not that I need to listen to those orders exactly...but I don't feel like getting into an argument with him either."

"Oh, dear," she replied. "That bad?"

He nodded. "And we don't have much time to act." He glanced at the clock. "The staff meeting is getting moved up; we have work to do. Oh, and I'm sorry, but I'm going to need to borrow Lucas. See you in the ward room in half an hour." And on that note, he hurried off, leaving Kristin in his wake.

She sighed in frustration. "I guess my experiment will just have to wait after all."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Half an hour later, the senior staff assembled around the ward room table. The only two missing were the captain and Lucas.

Jonathan looked at Kristin. "It's not like the captain to be late. Do you have any idea what this is about?"

She shook her head. "He mentioned something about General Thomas."

"Oh, great," Ben replied. "We all know what happened the last time General Thomas gave orders."

Everyone nodded their heads.

"But it all worked out in the end," Kristin said after a few minutes. "Perhaps…perhaps it's not as bad as it seems."

"Did you see the look on the captain's face?" Ben asked. "We all know it's_ worse_ than it seems."

At that moment, the ward room door opened, and Lucas and Nathan entered.

"My apologies for the delay, everyone," Nathan stated. "We don't have much time, so I'm going to cut to the chase." He motioned to Lucas, who brought up a picture of the outside of an underwater colony. "This is Elysium Colony. It's located just off the coast of Australia in open territory. Normally, we wouldn't get involved with them, but they've asked for our help. They've been threatened by a terrorist group known as the Macronesian Demons." He gave Lucas a nod. "You have the floor, Mr. Wolenczak."

Lucas hit a button and the picture changed to a young man with blonde hair. "This is Alexander Bourne. He's twenty-nine years old, Australian born; he started his group about a year and a half ago, but the UEO Counter-Terrorism Department really became interested in him a year ago when there was an accident at a political rally. Twelve people were killed when someone opened fire. Word is that the person who did it is a part of Bourne's group, but no one could find the weapon or the person who did it. Because of lack of evidence, Bourne was released."

"What exactly is the stance of the group?" Jonathan asked.

"Basically, they're against UEO sanctions," Lucas explained. He then hit a button and another man appeared. "This is Armand Stassi, Bourne's right hand. He's thirty years old, also Australian born." He hit the button again. "This is Larry Deon."

"He looks as though he's your age," Kristin muttered, noting how young the man was.

"He's twenty-four, actually," Lucas replied. "And he's an American."

Tim raised an eyebrow. "How did he manage that?"

"I honestly couldn't find much about how they met," Lucas replied, "but Larry Deon is a business tycoon, and it seems that he and Bourne have the same agenda when it comes to the UEO. He basically does what Bourne tells him to do." He then changed the picture once again. "And finally, this is Mason Freeman, also an American; twenty-eight years old. He's Deon's bodyguard, if you will. He's supposed to be ruthless and isn't one to be messed with."

"So this is all we're dealing with? Four guys?" Ben said in disbelief.

Lucas smirked. "These are the main ones, yes, but Bourne is supposed to have followers all over Australia, possibly some in the USA as well."

"Long story short, Mr. Bourne's group has made a serious threat against the colony. They've threatened to go in and take it over, hold the inhabitants hostage. General Thomas has ordered us to stop it by any means necessary," Nathan stated.

"By any means necessary?" Katie asked. "You mean like Max Scully's submarine?"

Nathan sighed. "If Thomas has his way, yes, it's hunt and kill. But I have a different plan in mind I'd like to try first, if you'd like to hear it. However, I want to warn you all, this could be very dangerous. I'll give you a few minutes to discuss it, if you'd like, but the general's only given us twelve hours." He looked at the clock. "And we've nearly lost one already."

The senior staff all exchanged glances with one another. Jonathan looked up. "What's the plan, sir?"

"I want to form a rescue group, if we can. The colony members; they're scared. They might need supplies." He looked at Kristin. "They might need medical attention. I want to go in and try to talk to them. General Thomas wants us to go looking for Bourne. We don't even know if he's in the water or if his threat is legitimate. But if it is, our first priority is to save those people. Then we can do what's necessary with Bourne. What do you say?"

There was a few minutes of silence before Jonathan spoke again. "I'm with you, sir."

"So am I," Ben echoed.

"Me, too," Katie said.

Everyone added their agreements to which Nathan smiled. "Thank you, all. I'd like to organize a small team first, and we can have a back-up team. The back-up team will handle the launches if we need them."

Jonathan raised his hand. "I'd like to be on the main team, sir."

"I was hoping you'd say that, Commander." He looked at Katie. "Which means I need you to take the bridge."

She nodded. "It'll be my pleasure."

"You'll set a course for Elysium colony right away, please; eighty knots. We need to get there as fast as we can."

"Aye, sir."

With that, Katie left the room while the rest of the staff deliberated. After a short time, they decided that the main team would consist of Nathan, Jonathan, Kristin, Tim, Chief Crocker, and Ben. The rest of the staff members were on the back-up team. "I want to thank you all once again. You all know what to do. I'll meet the rest of the rescue team in launch bay in about twenty minutes. You're all dismissed."

Everyone began to depart, save for Kristin and Lucas.

"Captain, I wanted to be on a team, too," Lucas told him.

Nathan smiled. "Lucas, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but this…this is really just too dangerous for you. You're a minor, and I'm responsible for you."

"I've gone on missions before," Lucas argued.

"I need you here, Lucas. I'm sorry, but I just can't put you in danger like that." He put his arm around the boy's shoulders.

"But you'll put yourself in it?"

"Lucas, I-"

"I'm afraid of what will happen," Lucas said quietly. "Captain, these guys…there's no telling what they could do."

"I know, kiddo, and I promise we'll be careful. But I can't let you go just because you're afraid about what might happen. If something happened to you, I'd never forgive myself. I really need to go speak with Chief Crocker, so I don't have time to argue with you. I'll see you tonight, I promise."

"But-" Lucas began as Nathan headed out the door.

Kristin took Lucas by the arm. "The captain's right, Lucas. It really is just too dangerous for you. I'll tell you what; I'll give you complete freedom on the experiment with Darwin while we're away."

"Oh, joy," he said sarcastically.

She sighed. "I know it's not exactly your idea of a good time, but it's all I can offer you."

"Are you scared?" he asked after a moment.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I haven't had time to think about it. All I know is there are a group of people who are in danger and need our help. I'm just trying to focus on them." She paused and really looked at him. "You're afraid?"

He nodded. "They're terrorists; they have no regard for human life. What if..."

"Oh, Lucas; I assure you, we'll be taking every precaution we can. You just have to try not to worry, okay?"

Lucas nodded. "Do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Promise you'll take care of the captain for me?"

"I promise," she told him, giving him a tight hug. "Be good, okay?"

"Take care of yourself, too, Doc."

"I will." She gave him a smile and then she hurried off toward launch bay.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_**seaQuest **_**launch, MR-9; two hours later**

"Approaching the outskirts of Elysium Colony, Captain," Jonathan announced.

"Thank you, Commander." He looked at Tim. "You can inform them of our arrival, Lieutenant."

"Aye, sir."

He then approached Kristin. "You're awfully quiet," he noted.

She shrugged. "I'm just…mentally preparing myself, that's all."

"You're having second thoughts?"

She shook her head. "No, not at all. I know I could have easily recommended Joshua."

"And I would have understood."

She smiled softly. "I just…hope we know what we're getting into. I don't know what we'll find when we get there."

He gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Everything's going to be fine. We can handle it."

She nodded. _I hope you're right,_ she thought.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

**Elysium Colony**

Another twenty minutes later, the launch connected with the outer section of the colony. They were met by a tall man who looked to be in his mid-thirties with dark hair and eyes. "Thank you so much for coming to our rescue," he greeted. "My name is Anthony Wilcox, and I'm one of the representatives of the colony." He shook each of their hands as each of them introduced themselves.

"If you don't mind, Mr. Wilcox, I'd like to go on ahead and assess the situation first," Nathan told him. "Not that I don't trust you, but considering the circumstances, I need to make sure my team is safe. Therefore, I want to make sure there are no threats in the colony. If I could just have a few minutes with my team first."

Anthony nodded and walked a few feet away to give them privacy.

Nathan turned to the others.

"Nathan, I'm not sure I like this," Kristin whispered. "I thought we were all going in together."

Jonathan nodded in agreement. "Bourne's team could be inside as we speak."

"Which is _exactly _why I want you all out here," Nathan replied. "I'm still responsible for each and every one of you. That's why I want to go on ahead, just to be sure."

"But, Nathan-" Kristin began.

Nathan put his hands on her shoulders. "Don't argue, okay? I'll be right back. I promise."

Kristin sighed as Nathan walked towards Anthony, and the two entered through the main doorway of the colony.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"I don't like this," Kristin announced a little while later. She'd been pacing nervously. "They've been gone too long."

Jonathan, Tim, Chief Crocker, and Ben exchanged glances.

"The doctor's right," Jonathan replied. "They've been gone for almost twenty minutes now."

"I think we should go in after them," Kristin said, starting toward the entrance.

"No, Doc, you can't." Crocker motioned toward the security keypad on the wall.

"Great," she muttered dryly. She looked at Jonathan. "Try your PAL unit."

Jonathan obliged, but all he got was static. "I think he's too far away."

"Something's not right," Kristin insisted worriedly. "I think-"

Suddenly, they all heard a noise; it sounded like rolling thunder in the distance, though it couldn't be that.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Oh, my God!" Jonathan cried. "Get down!"

"What?" Kristin asked. She started to turn around to see what he was looking at when he pushed her down, covering her with his own body.

The explosion that followed was deafening.

**A/N: A huge thank you to ReadingBlueWolf for helping me work out a few kinks in the chapter. Thank you, darling!**


	2. Money Talking

**Chapter 2**

**Elysium Colony**

Several minutes later, when he decided it was safe, Jonathan shifted his weight off of Kristin and looked down at her. "Are you all right?"

She looked stunned, but she nodded. "The others?" she whispered.

He stood and raised his voice a little. "Everyone all right?"

A chorus of yeahs and yeses followed.

Kristin finally pushed herself up and looked around. She didn't quite understand how an explosion of that magnitude didn't breach the outer section…that was until she noticed it was enclosed and sealed off from the rest of the colony with glass at least several inches thick, a detail she'd missed before. She placed her hand on one of the walls. Not even the slightest crack or dent. She peered through the glass, trying to make out the lighted dome of the main part of the colony. She couldn't see anything now, however. The water was too clouded from the dust of the explosion. "Do you think the inside of the colony is safe?" she asked worriedly, not speaking to anyone in particular. "The captain?" Her heart sank at the thought.

Jonathan took out his PAL and tried Nathan's unit once again. "Captain…can you read me?"

_Static._

"Captain?" Jonathan tried again. He tapped on his PAL unit with his other hand as though it was going to help.

"No!" Kristin said. "It can't be…" The panic in her voice was evident.

Crocker put his hands on her shoulders. "Just calm down, Doc. We can't be jumping to conclusions yet. It doesn't mean anything."

At that moment, Jonathan's PAL beeped, causing them to jump a little.

Chief Crocker gave Kristin an "I told you so" look. She let out a sigh and turned her attention toward Jonathan, hoping to hear Nathan's voice on the other end.

"Ford," Jonathan said.

"Oh, I'm so glad to hear your voice," Katie replied.

"Likewise," Jonathan replied, trying to sound enthusiastic. "We were hoping you were the captain, though."

"You mean he isn't with you? I'd been trying to contact him myself as soon as we'd heard the explosion. What happened down there?"

"We're not exactly sure; we're trying to figure that out. We actually haven't been inside the colony yet. We're waiting for an affirmative from the captain before we proceed…but the explosion…"

There was a slight hesitation.

"What?"

"The colony…" Katie began. "It's gone. Where are you?"

"We're in the outer section. It's separated from the main colony…and apparently shatterproof." Then he had a sudden realization as Katie's word's sunk in. "Wait…what do you mean _gone_?"

"I mean gone as in it's not there anymore. The explosion came from inside. You guys are all okay…aren't you?"

"Oh, my God," Kristin breathed, placing a hand over her mouth. Chief Crocker put his arms around her. Ben and Tim were speechless.

"No…we're not," Jonathan told her. "I…I don't know how to say it, but the captain was inside."

Katie breathed in sharply. "You…you're sure? Perhaps there was a launch…"

Jonathan sighed. "I don't think so," he said gravely.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_**seaQuest**_

Chief Ortiz used the WSKRS to search through what was left of the rubble. No bodies were found. The colony was literally blown to smithereens…along with everyone and everything in it. What was left of the structure lay at the bottom of the ocean floor in bits and pieces. What had actually happened inside in the moments before the explosion remained a mystery.

The senior staff, minus Lucas, met around the ward room table immediately after the launch had returned. It was decided that Lucas shouldn't be told just yet.

"This is such a shock," Katie muttered, her voice trembling. She looked at the empty chair at the head of the table and let out a sigh. She wiped at her eyes with a tissue.

"You can say that again," Chief Crocker replied, placing an arm around her shoulders, his own eyes glistening with tears. "I can't believe it."

Quiet tears slid down Kristin's cheeks as she listened to the others' comments. They were all taking the news hard. When they'd woken up this morning, none of them ever expected this. A hand on her shoulder caused her to jump.

"I'm sorry," Jonathan muttered. He knelt next to her chair. "I was just noticing how quiet you were. Are you all right?"

She turned to look at him; even his eyes were red-rimmed, which she found surprising. That showed how much Nathan had impacted each and every one of their lives. She nodded. "I'm fine."

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and stood in the front of the room. "I…I gathered you all here because…well, this is obviously not going to be easy for any of us. We have a lot of work ahead of us, but first things first; we need to inform the admiral. I, uh…I don't think I can make that call alone, so I was wondering if you'd mind if we did it together?"

No one uttered any protests, so Jonathan dialed the number and patiently. When the admiral answered, however, he wasn't alone.

"Commander," the admiral greeted. "This is a surprise." He noticed the senior staff in the background. "You all look as though someone died. Is everything all right?"

"You might want to remind that captain of yours that he's running out of time on the Bourne situation," the general barked.

Jonathan had to force himself not to give any snarky retorts. "We _were_ handling it, sir. Unfortunately, we…we ran into a bit of a snag." He took a deep breath and looked back at the rest of the senior staff.

Chief Crocker stood and placed a hand on Jonathan's shoulder in a gesture of support.

Jonathan gave him a grateful look and turned back to the screen. "The captain's idea was to organize a small group to go into the colony."

"Damn it. That's exactly what I said _not_ to do," the general said angrily.

"You knew full well that's what he was going to do anyway," Bill said to him. He turned back to the screen. "What type of snag, Jonathan? Where's Nathan?"

"He…he wanted to go on ahead. He wanted to be sure it was safe for the rest of us." Jonathan lowered his voice. "There was an accident."

For the first time, the admiral looked at the faces of the crew members behind Jonathan; he noticed tears. _Tears._ His voice caught in his throat. "What…" He cleared his throat. "What sort of accident?"

"Elysium Colony is…it's gone, sir. There was an explosion."

There was a long moment of silence as the words sunk in.

General Thomas' voice cut through it, however. "What about Bourne and his team?"

"I don't know, sir. We were never allowed inside the colony," Jonathan replied, quite shocked that he was more concerned about Bourne than the captain at this moment.

"If he'd have just done what I'd told him in the first place, this wouldn't have happened," Thomas stated. "We might not even be any closer to-"

Bill looked at him. "Frank, for once in your life, will you stop thinking about orders and protocol? You've just been informed one of our finest…and might I remind you, one of my best friends…is dead. Have a little respect. We can worry about Bourne later."

The general frowned; he wore a look of disapproval, but he turned towards the screen. "My apologies. I am sorry to hear of the unfortunate news. Captain Bridger was a great man." He turned back to Bill. "I'll leave you alone for now. I'll speak with you later." With that, he left the view of the camera, shutting the admiral's office door loudly behind him.

Bill gave the others a sympathetic look. "You…you're sure about the captain?"

Jonathan gave a nod. "I wish we weren't, but there really is no other explanation."

The admiral sighed wearily. "I'll organize an NCIS team to investigate; maybe they'll find something…and they'll be able to figure out what happened exactly. You'll take over command until the brass and I can discuss something more permanent. Set a course back to Pearl for now."

"Aye, sir."

"Try to stay strong and support one another for now," the admiral added. He then cut the link, the screen going black.

Jonathan turned to the others. "Thank you for that, everyone. As for us, business as usual as best as you can. I know it's going to be difficult, but if the captain were here…" He paused as a few sobs were heard. "If the captain were here, I'm sure he would expect nothing less. Also, I'm not sure how to go about informing the others about the news. Under the circumstances, this isn't something I want to blurt out over the PA. I…I know the doctor wanted to talk to Lucas personally. Would you all mind telling people as you see them?"

"I think we could do that," Ben replied, looking around the table at the others, who nodded in agreement.

"Very well. All dismissed."

Everyone started to file slowly out of the room; Kristin, however, made no attempt to get up yet. Jonathan approached her. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

She wiped at her eyes with her hands, turning to him, giving him an expectant look.

"You sure you're going to be able to handle talking to Lucas? If you think you can't do it-"

She held up a hand. "No, I'm fine," she assured him. "Everyone knows he loved Nathan like a father. I…I feel responsible…like I should be the one to tell him. I'll be fine. Um, Joshua is handling things for the moment, and afterwards-"

"I think right now, you shouldn't push yourselves. Of course, do what's required for the day. But when I said business should continue as usual, I didn't mean we had to ignore what just happened."

She nodded. "I have to admit, I'm not even thinking about anything else right now."

"I'm not going to raise a fuss if you take the rest of the day off," he told her.

"I'll see what happens," she replied.

"Well, I need to be on the bridge. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." He gave her arm a gentle squeeze. "Hang in there."

She offered him a small smile. "You, too."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

**UEO Headquarters, Pearl Harbor**

After leaving Bill's office, General Thomas knew he had to inform the secretary general of the situation right away. He barged into her office without knocking.

"Frank, what the hell is the meaning of this?" Andrea Dre chided angrily. "Is that how you treat your superior?"

"I'm sorry, but this is urgent. It's about the situation at Elysium Colony."

"Very well; just let me finish this e-mail." She typed quickly for a few minutes before turning back to him. "Okay, this better be good. Did Bridger handle the situation as you said he would?"

"I can't say; he's dead."

"What?"

"He organized a team to into the colony, and-"

"After you advised him not to?"

"You know how Bridger is…um, _was;_ he was never very military. He was always more worried about his morals than anything. Anyway, there was an explosion. Elysium Colony is no more."

"What about Bourne and his cohorts?" she asked.

He gave a shrug. "No one knows yet. As you can imagine, it's waterworks on that boat now. And Admiral Noyce is no better."

"Well, Nathan was a dear friend of his."

"I thought you should know what was going on."

She nodded. "I appreciate that. Don't worry; I'll handle this. You'd better think long and hard about getting another team to take Bourne down if he didn't perish in the explosion. We don't want our little secret getting out."

"Exactly my worry," he replied. "Don't worry; I'll handle it. Keep me informed."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

**_seaQuest_**

Kristin watched Jonathan leave the ward room and let out a heavy sigh. Her legs felt like lead as she started toward the science lab. She couldn't help but notice the empty feeling of the submarine now. Funny how the presence of one person could make the place feel like home. Knowing that Nathan would never grace the corridors of the _seaQuest _again made it suddenly feel like nothing more than a hollow shell.

As she passed other members of the crew, she noticed somber and sympathetic looks. Word had apparently traveled fast, and she had the sudden fear that Lucas might have heard about it already. She'd only had about five minutes with Joshua before the meeting in the ward room; she'd told him the news and then asked him to keep Lucas sheltered from it. As she entered the lab, her eyes searched for him.

Joshua approached her immediately. "What did you find out?" he asked, his voice lowered.

She shook her head. "Not much. Um, business should continue as usual. The bare minimum today, though. I'm not going to force anyone to work if they don't want to."

"What about you?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I can't leave you alone. You're just as shaken up about it as I am."

"If you need the rest of the day, take it."

"I'll see," she replied. "Um, where's Lucas? He doesn't know, does he?"

He shook his head. "He's been out by the moon pool all day working with Darwin and that list you gave him. He's actually been having a good time, too. I checked on him earlier. He's very excited about what Darwin has learned."

She sighed. "So I get to kill his good mood. Wonderful," she said flatly.

"I think it's best he hear it from you; you two are close. It'll be fine."

"I hope so. I guess I'd better get it over with."

"Don't worry about us; we'll be fine. Good luck."

"Thanks, Joshua," she told him as she headed through the lab doors toward the moon pool. She stood at a distance, watching Lucas for a few minutes. Joshua was right. He looked so happy.

Lucas held up a black and white flashcard for Darwin to see. "Okay, smarty fins, you've been impressing me all day. What's this?"

"Pig," Darwin's voice sounded through the vocoder.

Lucas smiled. "Okay, you got that right." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Now extra credit if you can tell me what sound it says."

"Pig can't talk, not like Darwin talk," the dolphin answered.

Lucas laughed as he happened to notice Kristin's presence. "I think he's gotten too smart for his own good," he told her.

She walked to stand next to him and gave Darwin's snout a pat. "That is very impressive, Lucas. I'm very proud of you."

"I know I doubted you before about this, but I thought about what you said this morning and I realized you were right. I just kept at it, and I tried a little different approach with Darwin. It really only took me a few hours to teach him once we got going. Now you can show your research university that we've done it…and maybe they'll be willing to give us more funding for more projects with Darwin," he said, the excitement in his voice evident. "I can't wait to show the captain. Do you think he'll be impressed?"

Kristin hesitated. "I'm sure if the captain were here, he'd be very proud of you and Darwin both," she replied quietly.

Lucas didn't seem to notice the fact she was speaking in the past tense. He glanced at the clock on the wall. "You're back earlier than I thought you'd be. Is the captain on the bridge? Do you think he'd have a free moment to see?"

"I don't think…" She sighed. "Lucas, we need to talk."

He studied the features of her face for a minute. His smile faded. "You look like you've been crying," he noted.

She reached over and shut the vocoder off. "Your room or mine?" she asked shakily.

"Mine's closer," he replied.

She put her arm around his shoulders and ushered him down the hall.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Lucas closed the door behind them as they entered his cabin. "Uh, have a seat," he told her.

She sat in the chair in front of his desk while he sat on his bunk.

"Doc, what's this about? I saw the way people look around here. I'm not blind, and you have tears in your eyes again. What's going on?"

It was true, tears had crept up again. She swallowed hard and choked them back, however. "Well, um, something awful happened at the colony."

"Someone got hurt?" he asked worriedly.

She nodded, her hand covering her mouth as she tried to stifle the sob that threatened to escape.

Lucas waited patiently for a few brief moments for her to compose herself.

She took a deep breath and willed herself to continue. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "This is... There's no easy way to say this. Um…when we arrived at the colony, the captain…he wanted to go on ahead to make sure it was safe. He…he didn't want anyone getting hurt." She let out a soft sob. "Lucas…there was an explosion. The captain…he's…gone."

"What? No! He can't…he promised."

"Lucas, it was an accident. No one planned for this." She tried to put her arms around him, but he pushed her away.

"Lucas, there wasn't anything anyone could do," she said, letting her tears flow freely now.

"He promised everything would be all right. You promised me you'd take care of him," he accused angrily.

"Lucas, I _tried_. So did Commander Ford. The captain insisted on going on ahead instead. There wasn't anything we could do. This isn't exactly the time to analyze it now. We can't go back and change it."

Lucas didn't answer her. Instead, he turned from her and leaned up against the aqua tubes, his face buried in his hands.

After a few minutes, Kristin placed a gentle hand on his shoulders. "Lucas, it's okay to be sad. We're all sad. And it's okay to cry. I'm here for you…for anything you need…day or night. If you'd like, I-"

"I want you to go," he told her, not bothering to look up.

"And it's okay to be angry. _I'm_ angry, too."

He turned to her then, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I don't need you to tell me what I should or shouldn't be feeling."

"Lucas, that's not what I meant. I…I want to help you. I-"

"I told you to leave."

"Lucas…please."

He walked to the door and opened it then. "Go."

Kristin sighed. "Lucas, I think… If the captain were here, he-"

"Well, it's a little late for that now, isn't it?" he said bitterly. "Now please leave!"

Kristin stepped through the door, but it didn't stop her from trying to talk some reason into him. "Lucas, I just want to help you," she offered weakly.

The only response she received, however, was the slamming of the door in her face.


	3. Power Wolves Beset Your Door

**Chapter 3**

_**seaQuest**_

Kristin was shocked. She hadn't quite expected that. She suddenly felt at a loss of what to do next. She leaned up against the wall, her hand on her head. She tried to think of what Nathan would do if he were here, only she wasn't sure. She felt tears creep up, and although she tried to hold them back, she couldn't. She sobbed softly, placing her hand over her mouth to muffle the sounds.

She knew Lucas was going to take this hard, but she didn't anticipate him taking it out on her. Not only that, she was sure she handled it wrong. Nathan would have known exactly what to do. He always did when it came to Lucas. She wished he were there right now.

"That went well, didn't it?" a voice said from behind her.

She let out a low gasp; she hadn't realized anyone was there. She swallowed her tears and cleared her throat. "Mr. Krieg…how…how long have you been standing there?" she asked, not turning to make eye contact with him.

"Long enough," Ben replied, taking a few steps toward her.

She wiped the stray tears off her cheeks with her hands and then gave a light shrug. "Well, we should have expected this. I'm sure he'll come around. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really should be going. I have a ton of work to do." She started down the hall when he caught her arm.

"No, you don't."

"Ben, what the _hell _do you think you're doing?" She finally turned to look at him. "Commander Ford did say business should continue as usual, did he not?" She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him.

"He did, Doctor."

"Fine…then I would expect you have some work to do as well." She turned to leave, and she was relieved to find he didn't try to stop her again.

"Except medbay is that way, isn't it?"

She stopped in her tracks.

"At least last time I checked, that is," he added.

"Ben, please," she said quietly. "Let's just get to work and forget this."

He walked to stand behind her. "I'm not sure I can do that."

"Why not?"

Ben let out a sigh. "Well, I am supply and morale officer. Last I checked, we're full up on everything we need as far as supplies. So if business should continue as usual, I guess that only leaves me one option."

"You have a fair point," she muttered. "Very well; why don't you start down in engineering?"

Ben gave a light chuckle. "The point of the morale officer is to lift spirits where I'm _needed._ I think the engineering crew is fine for now. You, however-"

She turned back to him. "Do you always have to be so damned chipper all the time? This really isn't the time or the place. Now, please just-"

Ben put his hands on her shoulders. "No, Doc, I _won't _just anything. I had a feeling things weren't going to go well here, so I thought I'd check…and it turns out I was right. Now you can stop pretending everything's fine here when it isn't."

She avoided his gaze. "You're right. _Nothing_ is fine now. There isn't a single soul on this boat that is fine. I just don't…" Her voice began to tremble as she began to lose control over her emotions again. "I…I can't…" She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm herself. "I just… I keep asking myself what Nathan would do."

"And what's the answer?"

She shrugged and looked toward Lucas' closed door. "Whatever it is, it's not what _I'm _doing."

"He shouldn't have treated you that way. I'll talk to him."

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it. He has every right to be angry and upset."

"But not at _you_," Ben replied. "_You _don't deserve that."

"It doesn't really matter," she said as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't think he's going to open up to anyone, and we certainly can't expect that he wouldn't be feeling a thousand different emotions right now."

Ben put an arm around her shoulders. "That doesn't mean I can't try later…and is that really any different than how we're feeling?"

She simply shrugged.

He sighed. "Where is it you were really going?"

She shook her head. "I honestly don't even know. I…I should probably go to the lab, but I'm not sure I could bring myself to work…"

"How about I walk you to your room?"

"No, I shouldn't. I couldn't possibly. I really should-"

"If the captain were here, what would he tell you?" Ben asked.

"What?"

"If the captain were here, what would he tell you to do…right now?" he said again.

Her brow furrowed as she thought for a moment. "Well…if I really felt I couldn't work at the moment…he'd tell me not to…to go rest."

"Then maybe that's what you should do."

"I can't," she answered a little too quickly, automatically.

"Why not?"

She sighed. "I feel like I shouldn't," she offered weakly once again.

"Says who?" He shook his head. "You have an impeccable work ethic, but you're way too hard on yourself. You're allowed to take a little time off. That is what the commander said." He gently took her by the arm to lead her down the corridor.

"But I don't-"

Ben let go of her. "No buts, Doc. You need to take a step back." He took her arm again and led her to her room, this time without another word from her.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Ben opened the door and ushered her inside. "Now, sit down," he ordered gently.

Kristin sat down on the end of her bunk, but she didn't feel very comfortable.

"There…isn't that better?"

She shook her head and stood. "Look, Mr. Krieg. I appreciate what it is you're trying to do, but this really isn't a feasible time to-"

"To what? To grieve? To stop and take a breath? To just rest?" He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

"I…"

"Look, the truth is that after the meeting, the commander sent me to keep an eye on you. I was actually thinking of doing it anyway, but he just gave me that push. He said if you were really fine to leave it alone…but we both know you're not really fine. You can keep trying to deny it, but I'm not blind. So whether you like it or not, you are going to rest for a little while. Now, I'm going to get you some tea from the mess, and you'd best be here when I get back…or _else_."

Whether he was being sincere or not, Kristin wasn't exactly sure, but she felt it was futile to argue. She simply gave a nod.

Ben softened and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "I'll be right back," he said with a kind smile.

When the door closed shut, Kristin let out a frustrated sigh. She felt so lost and helpless, something she wasn't quite accustomed to. No, she wasn't always as optimistic as Ben, but she didn't normally have trouble seeing the silver lining within the clouds. Not this time, though.

She stood and walked over to her small desk. Normally, she kept it neat and tidy, but it was cluttered at the moment, mainly because of the work she and Lucas had been doing with Darwin. File folders and documents littered its surface. She decided now was as good a time as any to organize it. That should keep her mind occupied. She sat in the chair and started straightening out the papers and making neat stacks. She did that a few times over until she came across a photograph. She set the papers in her hand down and picked it up.

The photo had been taken the day they'd brought the Walker children to social services in Pearl Harbor. Katie was holding little Hope in her arms while Chief Crocker was standing next to her between the twins, Matthew and Brawley. Nathan had his arm around Zack's shoulders with Lucas standing next to Cleo, and Kristin herself was kneeling down next to Tony. They all looked so happy, even though they were sad to be saying goodbye. It had been bittersweet.

Kristin had still had her doubts about them staying together, but Nathan had been confident. He'd told her not to worry. One week later, they were placed in a foster home…all six of them together. Nathan had said, "I told you so." She smiled at the thought. Three months ago, she'd heard the foster family had started adoption proceedings. Nathan was always right about things like that. Well, usually. That hadn't been the case at Elysium Colony…

She felt tears sting her eyes. "Why did you have to do something so stupid?" she asked, looking at Nathan's smiling face. "Why couldn't you just listen to me? Why did you have to go now? We weren't ready to say goodbye." She paused for a moment, a sob escaping her throat. "We can't do this alone." She took a ragged breath. "I can't do this alone. I can't do any of this without you…"

She then allowed herself to break down completely, sobbing uncontrollably, putting her arms on her desk and burying her face in them.

Kristin didn't even know when Ben came back, but several minutes later, she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"Doc?"

She turned to him and allowed him to wrap his arms around her. She cried into his shoulder, and he cried with her.

After a small eternity, Kristin's sobs subsided. Ben stood and grabbed a tissue from the box on her desk and then passed her the box.

There were a few awkward moments of them blowing their noses and dabbing at their eyes.

"Katie was wrong about you," Kristin finally said, her voice still thick from the emotional purging. "You're not as hateful as you let on."

Ben chuckled lightly, even though he still had tears in his eyes. "She told you that?"

She nodded. "She told me what you'd said about her biological clock a while back. She needed a woman's opinion."

Ben's cheeks grew red. "I know that wasn't exactly one of my proudest moments. I did feel bad after that."

"She told me that, too. You don't always say the right thing…but you always make up for it in the end." She paused. "I, um…I guess you knew I needed to come here and bawl my eyes out?"

He nodded. "I knew that if you didn't, you were going to explode eventually. I knew you were holding back." He motioned to the table where he'd set the cup of hot tea. "Unfortunately, I think your tea is cold now."

She waved a hand. "That's all right; I'll just pop it in the microwave." She picked up the cup, walked to the microwave, set it inside, and pushed a few buttons.

"I…I know I'd said this time was for you, but I think I needed it just as much. The captain was like a father to me."

"I know."

There was another pregnant pause before Ben asked, "Did you want me to stay?"

She shook her head. "Not unless you want to. As for me, I feel like I should do something a little more productive. I'm not sure I'll go to the lab, but…" She pointed to her laptop. "…I'm sure I can find something else to do."

Ben nodded. "I actually feel a little better now. Um, as for Lucas…"

"I was thinking it might be best to wait for him…to let him come to us. I think the reason he got angry with me was that he felt pressured."

"Maybe…but what if he doesn't? I'd still like to try to speak with him. He and I are close. He listens to me."

She gave a nod. "I know. I was just…" She let out a sigh. "I'm no stranger to being a single parent. I raised Cynthia pretty much on my own…even when I _was _married. Her father was more intent on building his political career than being a doting father. Oh, sure, he did give her attention when he was home. But as far as the school plays, the scout meetings, the dance classes, summer camp…that was all handled by me. After the divorce, nothing really changed there. I was always the more involved parent. Cynthia even pointed that out to me a few years back. She commended me, thanked me for always being there."

"That's what a parent is supposed to do," Ben pointed out. "She was just telling you she appreciated it."

"Yes, I know. But with Lucas…you know full well that Nathan and I basically took over the roles of his parents while he was here…only this time, I was the parent in the background. It wasn't that I was less involved exactly. He just had an easier time opening up to Nathan. And…and now I don't know what to do…how to get through to him." She felt tears start to sting again. "I'm not sure I can do a good job with him."

Ben put an arm around her shoulders. "Oh, Doc…you need to stop second-guessing yourself. I've seen you with Lucas. He loves you, and I know you love him."

She shook her head. "I'm not sure love is enough in this case…not if he won't talk to me."

"You and I both know anger doesn't last forever. He'll come around."

"I hope so…but please, don't force anything on him."

"I won't; I promise." He gave her a quick hug. "Just try not to worry. Get some rest, okay? I'll see you later."

"Thank you, Ben."

"Of course, Doc," he said as he left the room.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Against the doctor's better judgment, Ben decided to at least try Lucas' room. He figured the worst that could happen was that he'd get a door slammed in his face as well. He'd had worse than that done to him in the past; he wasn't worried.

He knocked three times and listened. He heard no footfalls, no attempts of anyone coming to open the door.

He tried again, knocking a little louder-four knocks this time. "Lucas? Are you in there? I was hoping I could talk to you."

He listened once again. He heard shuffling. That was promising.

Then the door finally opened and Lucas stood there, red-faced, swollen-cheeked, and puffy-eyed. He just stared at him.

"Can I come in?" Ben asked after a minute.

Lucas stepped aside to let Ben pass and then shut the door behind him.

"Look, I know what-" Ben began.

"_Don't_," Lucas said. "Don't you dare say you know what I'm going through, that you know how I feel."

Ben held up his hands. "Okay, I won't. That's not even what I was going to say. I was_ going_ to say I know you're upset and angry."

Lucas turned his eyes away from him. "You don't know the half of it," he muttered. "Did she send you?"

"No, she didn't." There was a long pause before Ben finally spoke again. "Lucas, you're right. I couldn't possibly know what you're feeling."

Lucas looked at him.

"The rest of us could _never_ understand, right?" He was sure not to mask the sarcasm in his voice.

"That's not exactly what I meant," Lucas replied. "I-"

"But that's what you said to the doctor, isn't it?"

"I thought you said she didn't send you."

"She _didn't_…but I felt _someone_ ought to talk some sense into you. You think you're the only one on this boat going through the loss and the pain?" he asked.

"No…of course not."

"Then why the _hell _did think you had the right to treat the doctor the way you did?"

Lucas hung his head, not offering an answer.

"I'm waiting," Ben said after a minute. "Do you think the captain would have liked that?"

"No," he mumbled. "But you're not him, you know."

"What?"

"You're _not_ him," Lucas repeated a bit louder this time, making eye contact with him. "You don't need to come here and talk to me like you're the captain. No one could replace him. No one's _going _to replace him."

"I'm _not_ trying to replace him, but I am trying to get you to think. When the doctor tried to comfort you, you pushed her away and treated her like yesterday's trash. You know how much that hurt her?"

Lucas shrugged. "I get it, and I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you should be telling that to."

"I know," he said with a sigh. "I just… I need some time." He stood and turned, putting his hands on the aqua tubes, his reflection staring back at him. "I can't… I asked him not to go." His voice trembled.

"I know; I heard," Ben replied.

"I never got to say goodbye…" Lucas' voice was barely above a whisper.

Ben walked towards him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Lucas, I know. Look, I don't know why bad things happen to us sometimes…and I know what happened is the worst thing we could have imagined. But the important thing in all of this is to remember that we need to stick together, not push each other away. And that includes the doctor. She's a good person to have on your side, if you know what I mean."

Lucas nodded silently, not turning to look at him.

Ben gave his shoulder a squeeze. "You do it whenever you're ready; I know she's not going to push you. But you do need to talk to her."

"I will."

"Do you…want me to stay? To talk? I'm here if you need," he told him.

Lucas turned to him then. There were tears in his eyes, but he shook his head. "I think…I need some time alone."

Ben nodded. "Okay." He turned to leave when Lucas stopped him.

"Ben?"

"Yeah?" he asked, turning back to him.

"If I need anything, I'll let you know."

Ben smiled. "Good, I'm glad. See you later."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

After Ben had left, Kristin took her cup of tea out of the microwave and carried it to her desk with the best intentions of reading her e-mails, something she hadn't done yet that day. However, the minute she looked at her inbox and saw the score of messages, she suddenly felt overwhelmed. She sighed and opened the first message. It was from a colleague at her research university, Dr. Ellie Raymond, about the language experiment with Darwin. It was one of those 'if you don't have any success, we're going to have to pull the funding and move onto something else' kind of messages.

Kristin wanted to show her the success they'd had, only under the circumstances, she hadn't time to compile the data nor did she have the desire or the energy at the moment. She didn't think Lucas was in the mood either. She started composing a reply asking for an extension. But everything she typed sounded like a poor excuse; not only that, the words on the screen kept blurring.

It took her a brief second for her to realize she was crying again. She wiped her eyes with her hands and shut the computer down. She couldn't deal with it. She picked up her cup, walked over to her bunk, and sat down. And then she saw it: a note he had written down for her the other day. It simply read: _Don't forget the medical files._

Kristin shook her head. She and Nathan were supposed to be working on quarterly reports, the time of year when the UEO needed all the data of the medical emergencies of the crew over the past four and a half months. It was a boring, arduous process, actually. She'd hated doing it, and Nathan had known it. But he'd made the last report session rather fun; the two of them were supposed to meet in his quarters that evening, since this report was due to the brass by the end of the month. She picked up the note and felt her sadness overwhelm her again. Soft sobs wracked her body, and she buried her face in her pillow to muffle the sounds, eventually crying herself to sleep.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

When she awoke, she didn't know what time it was. She walked into her bathroom to freshen up a bit. Then she opened her cabin door, realizing it was later than she'd thought since the corridors were darkened, lit only by the nighttime running lights along the bottom of the wall. She realized she'd missed dinner and her stomach growled in protest since she hadn't eaten anything since that morning. She decided she ought to go to the galley and see what was in the refrigerator. She closed her door behind her and started on her way.

However, upon realizing she'd have to pass the captain's quarters, she stopped in her tracks. She then turned and realized she'd have to go the long way, past the science labs. That was probably better anyway, considering she felt the need to at least see how things were going there.

She took a deep breath as she came upon the moon pool area, a place where she and Nathan had several intimate conversations. However, upon turning the corner, she was surprised to see Lucas standing there, talking with Darwin.

"…and the truth is, he's just not coming back," Lucas said quietly. He patted Darwin's head gently. "You understand, don't you?"

"Bridger away. In dark," Darwin replied. "Lucas sad. Darwin sad."

"Yeah, I know, buddy. We're all sad, but Ben says to remember we still have each other."

"Lucas stay with Darwin. Bridger in dark."

Kristin carefully approached the moon pool, the blue light reflecting off of it casting eerie shadows on the wall.

Lucas noticed Darwin looking in her direction, and he turned to face her. "Hi."

"Hello," she said softly as she moved closer and leaned up against the side of the pool. "I wasn't sure how I was going to explain death to a dolphin."

Lucas reached over and shut the vocoder off. "Neither was I, but I think he understands."

Kristin reached over and pet Darwin on the snout. "We know he feels things as deeply as we do."

Lucas nodded. "Do you think he's going to be all right?"

"With time, I'm sure. I'm sure we all will be…eventually."

There was a long pause as the reflections of the water danced across their faces.

"I'm glad you're at least speaking to me," she finally said.

"Doc, about before, I didn't mean… I know you weren't… I'm just angry."

She waved a hand. "Lucas, it's all right. It's already forgotten. You don't need to explain."

He nodded but didn't speak.

There was a long moment of silence between them. After several minutes, Kristin moved a little closer to him, unsure if he wanted her to touch him or not. She carefully reached her hand towards his and gave it a gentle squeeze. To her relief, he didn't pull away…but he didn't squeeze her hand in return either.


	4. Hear Them Stalking

**Chapter 4**

**Pearl Harbor, two days later**

"No, Nathan, please…don't go."

Kristin tossed and turned in the bed of her hotel room. They'd arrived in Pearl the day before without a hitch and would be there for at least a week. It was assumed the rest of the tour would continue normally after that, though none of the brass was telling them anything yet. All they knew was that they were there for the memorial service, though none of them minded the lull in their work at all under the circumstances.

"No…please, don't leave."

It had been fairly easy for Kristin to convince herself Nathan was just away at a conference somewhere. That had helped her get up in the morning, push through her day. And at least she wasn't on the verge of tears every waking minute of the day. Commander Ford had even complimented her on how well she'd been handling the disappearance.

No, those hadn't been his exact words. He'd used that _other_ 'D' word, only _that _word was too permanent. _That_ meant there was absolutely no chance she'd ever see him again. She couldn't use that _other_ 'D' word herself. No, using 'disappearance' meant there was hope, and she needed to cling to that hope. That had helped her remain strong…especially for Lucas.

"No!" She awoke with a start as she relived the explosion once again. She took a few deep breaths to calm her pounding heart, tears stinging her eyes. She swallowed them and forced herself out of bed. She pulled the blinds back and looked out the window. It was still early, the sky a dull grey-blue and littered with dark clouds. Though it wasn't raining yet, it would be fitting that it would rain on this particular day.

It was a day she'd been dreading. No, today, she couldn't possibly pretend Nathan was away. She couldn't pretend he'd be back in just a few days. She knew everyone around her would say that awful 'D' word. She knew she'd end up falling apart. Reality would catch up with her.

A few bitter tears slid down her cheeks at the thought, and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. All she had to do was get through today…and then she could go back to pretending. She could go back to wearing that brave smile, and everyone would squeeze her shoulder and comment on how well she was handling it. That would make things easier, she told herself.

Ben had been a dear and had helped her keep an eye on Lucas since their talk by the moon pool. Lucas had been quiet and reserved around her still, something she'd expected, but whatever Ben had said to him had worked. He was at least still talking to her, and she was glad of that. She knew Nathan would want her to help Lucas get through this any way that she could. This one thought made everything she had been doing seem justified.

A few minutes later, a few light pinging noises cut through the silence of the room as raindrops spotted the window, as if the whole world was mourning for Nathan. She sighed and muttered, "I feel the exact same way." Thunder sounded in response, and the rain got harder. Kristin stood there for a few minutes longer and then turned away. She decided she needed to do something productive…anything to keep her mind off of the reality of the day, if even for a short while. She took out her laptop and started going through her messages.

She'd already lost her funding for Darwin's language experiment. Ellie had broken the news to her about it yesterday. Kristin hadn't felt as upset about it as she thought she would, though; neither did Lucas when she'd told him. He had just nodded and said, "We'll do something better next time." At least she didn't have reminders about the experiment funding being close to its deadline cluttering her inbox.

Her messages mostly consisted of scientific and medical journal updates, nothing terribly interesting and nothing she actually wanted to read at the moment. She started deleting messages, and after she'd gotten to message number seventy-five, she found a message from Doctor Neil Cooper. She'd met him at a medical conference she'd attended about four months ago. He worked in the UEO labs in Pearl.

They'd had a fascinating conversation about virology, which was one field Kristin wasn't as well-versed in as she'd like. That had come to light when the crew encountered the Liberté virus. Since then, she'd told herself she needed to learn more concerning the field of virology, just in case another unknown virus without an antidote ever came about again. Ever since she'd met Neil and told him about that desire, he'd been sending her all sorts of articles for her to read. He'd also encouraged her to visit the labs on her shore leave, something she hadn't taken him up on yet.

She hovered over the message with her cursor, debating on whether or not she should open it. If it were just a research article, she told herself she'd read it later. But it might be something else. The subject simply said: 'Something to Think About'. After another millisecond of debate, she opted to read it.

_Dear Kristin,_

_It's been a long time; too long, in fact. I know every time I ask you this, you turn me down. But we've had an increase in our work here, and two of my research assistants quit. I thought this would be a great hands-on learning experience for you. You could stay here as long as you wanted, and it would be a pleasure working with you. Let me know soon, please._

_Neil_

Kristin stared at the screen for several minutes. Had she received this message just a few days before, she'd type up a response letting Neil down easy. But so much had changed now. The thought of getting away did sound appealing. She rested her chin on her hand and sighed. No, she couldn't leave, even for a little while…could she? She had Lucas to worry about…though she hadn't asked him if he might want some time off for himself. Perhaps he'd like to see his own parents?

She frowned. Of course, she'd have to bring it up gently. Simply coming out and asking him might make him think she was trying to get rid of him, and that wasn't the case. And of course, there was the little matter of asking the brass for time off as well. Her eyebrows knitted together; all of this would need to wait until after the service…perhaps _days_ after the service. She did, however, type a response back.

_Dear Neil,_

_I can't give you a concrete answer just yet, but I am seriously thinking about it. I'll be in touch._

_Kristin_

She hit send and then continued deleting her other messages since there was nothing else of importance. By the time she had taken care of the last message, she noticed that the storm had passed, though a light drizzle continued to splash the windows. Apparently, the world hadn't mourned enough yet.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

An hour and a half later, Kristin was dressing for the occasion: black skirt, blouse and jacket. She sighed, not particularly pleased with her outfit selection, though she hadn't much of a choice. In all the chaos, she never thought to go shopping for such an occasion, and she hadn't a lot of alternatives considering the fact she was living on a submarine.

Just as she was straightening her jacket, a gentle knock sounded at the door. "One moment, please," she called as she slipped on a pair of heels on her way to the door. She then opened it to see Ben, Katie, and Tim. "Good morning." She offered them a gentle smile and stepped aside for them to enter the room.

"We thought we'd all go over to the service together," Katie said.

"That sounds wonderful, but we'll have to pick up Lucas on the way." She looked at Ben. "Have you seen him yet this morning?"

Ben hesitated as he, Tim, and Katie shared a worried glance.

"Oh, no; what's wrong?" Kristin asked as her hand rose to her chest, noting the looks on the others' faces.

"Lucas sort of…ran off," Tim told her. "We tried to stop him."

"Ran off?" She looked from Ben to Katie to Tim and then back again. "Why didn't you come and tell me right away?"

"We thought you needed a break and that we could handle it," Ben replied. "He and I had talked last night before turning in; he seemed fine then. Then when I knocked on his door this morning, he said he changed his mind and wasn't going. I tried to talk him out of it, and he just stormed off. That was an hour ago. I thought he'd be back by now."

"Oh, dear," Kristin said under her breath, thinking quickly. "Well, I'm sure he didn't go far, but I'm going to have to go find him."

"We'll go with you," Katie offered.

But Kristin shook her head. "No, that's quite all right. I thank you kindly, but I think it's best I speak to him alone. I'll meet you at the service. I promise."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

With an umbrella in her hand, Kristin started off towards the base. It was only a block away, well within walking distance, even in the rain, and knowing Lucas, she had a hunch on where he might be. She walked past the buildings to the docks along the water. In the distance, she saw a familiar form sitting on the last dock, getting soaked by the rain; he was there with Darwin. She let out a sigh of relief and picked up her pace to get to him.

"How did you find me?" Lucas asked without turning around to face her.

"Lucky guess, I suppose." She walked to stand next to him. "Lucas, why are you out here in your suit in the rain? You're soaking wet."

He shrugged. "I'm fine. Darwin doesn't mind it."

"Yes, well, Darwin's not going to catch cold from being out in the rain all day. You, on the other hand…"

"I thought I could go through with it, but I can't," he said with a sigh.

"Go through with what?"

"Today." He stood and motioned to a section of the marina that had been roped off for the service. "Did you know that there's a casket?"

She raised an eyebrow as she looked in the direction where Lucas pointed. "No, I… Who told you that?"

"The admiral. He had called my room last night. He'd wanted to speak to me, make sure I was all right with everything. He told me about the casket he'd picked out, something he felt the captain would like." He shook his head. "It doesn't make sense. Everyone knows that casket is going to be empty. What is the point of burying an empty casket?"

She took a deep breath before she spoke. "Well, I suppose it's for closure."

He looked at her. "Do you really believe that? Is watching them bury an empty casket really going to help you?"

"Um…"

"I didn't think so," he replied. "It's not going to help me either. In fact, this whole service is… I just don't see the point. This is something the brass is doing for_ them_, not for us."

"Lucas, you don't really believe that, do you?"

"Come on, Doc; you know as well as I do the captain would never want this. He'd never want a huge ceremony."

She shook her head. "No, Lucas, I really _don't _know what the captain would have wanted. We never spoke about what arrangements we'd want if the time ever came. And I think the brass is well-intentioned, even if what they're doing doesn't exactly make sense to us. You know that Admiral Noyce and Captain Bridger were friends; he'd want to do everything in his power to make sure Nathan was honored. That's what this service is for-to honor a man that we all loved. Not only that, it's to honor all those colony members who lost their lives. Don't you want to be there for that?"

"Well, the captain and I did have this talk a while back," Lucas answered, "and I know for a fact this isn't what he wanted. He…he'd told me he wanted to be cremated. He then wanted his close friends and family…seemingly the crew…to hold a vigil on his island, but he didn't want it to be sad. He wanted us to tell happy stories about him. And then he wanted us to take a boat ride out on the water and spread his ashes by moonlight with Chief Crocker leading a few rounds of 'Drunken Sailor'."

Kristin couldn't help but smile softly. "That does sound like Nathan." Her smile faded, however, as she looked towards the roped off area of the marina. "Why didn't you tell the admiral what you knew?"

"I tried, but he said it was too late. He told me he had to do what the secretary general wanted."

Kristin sighed. "Well, I suppose cancelling all this at the last minute would have been a bit difficult to pull off, wouldn't you think?"

"I can't believe you're defending him," Lucas replied, his brow furrowing.

"Lucas, I am not defending anyone. I'm just trying to explain to you-"

He held up a hand. "You don't need to explain anything to me. I get it." He turned from her and sat back down on the dock.

"You're going to stay out here then?"

"You catch on quick, don't you?"

"Lucas, I know you're upset about all this, but that doesn't give you the right to disrespect me."

He didn't answer her.

After a few minutes, she said, "Fine, have it your way then. I need to be getting back. I do wish you'd at least go back inside and change out of those wet clothes, but that's up to you." She turned and started to walk away when he stood.

"So that's it then?" he asked.

She turned back to him. "What?"

"You're just going to go to this service because the brass orders it? The doctor I knew would never let the brass order her around."

She walked back towards him. "Lucas, this has nothing to do with the brass or orders."

"I've already told you it does. This is to keep up appearances, and you know it."

"I'm not going to question anything right now. With everything going on, I-"

"I thought you were better than they are," he said with a shake of his head.

She dropped the umbrella on the dock and took hold of his shoulders. "Lucas, the reason I'm going to this service has nothing to do with the brass or the rest of the crew. This is something I _need._ I need to grieve. I need closure to move on with my life. If you want to stay out here, fine. I'm not forcing you to do anything you don't want to do. But please don't be angry with me for it." She searched his eyes for an answer.

After a few brief seconds, he gave a nod. "All right."

"Are you coming with me?" she asked hopefully.

He shook his head. "I just think someone ought to stay with Darwin. He needs closure too, and I think the captain would have wanted that. Just because I'm not going to the service doesn't mean I don't want to honor him…or all the others."

"Oh, Lucas, I know. You don't need to explain anything to me." She placed a hand on his cheek. "You do what you need, and I'll see you later."

Lucas bent over to pick up the umbrella; he handed it to her. "Fine, later."

She took it from him and watched him sit back down on the dock. She knew then she'd have to e-mail Neil later and tell him there was no way she could leave now. Lucas needed her. With that thought, she turned to walk back towards the other end of the marina. The others were expecting her.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

By the time she reached the area located behind the UEO headquarters, the rain had stopped. Ben was waiting for her at the entrance. "How did it go?" But then noticing she'd gotten wet from the rain, he added, "Doc, you're soaked."

She shrugged. "It's just a little water. I'll dry. It went better than I expected, actually."

"Only I can't help noticing that Lucas isn't here. I'm really sorry I let him-"

She waved off his apology. "No, there's no need for that. This is just… Lucas needs to deal with this in his own way, and that's what he's doing. He doesn't want to attend this service, so I'm not going to force him. I think the captain would do the same thing…don't you?"

"You're asking me?"

She smiled. "Right now, you're the only other person here Lucas seems to want to listen to. So, yes, I am asking you." Her smile faded, and her eyebrows knitted together in worry. "Do you think the captain would have done the same thing?"

"Probably. Maybe. I don't know."

She sighed.

Ben put an arm around her shoulders. "You need to stop worrying about that. You've never had a problem relating to Lucas before."

"Because _before, _I wasn't alone."

Ben gave her a wink. "You're not alone. You've got me."

"Yes, and I do appreciate that. I just…"

"I know, Doc, but really, don't worry. You're doing fine." He gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Why don't we go sit with the others? They're saving our seats."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

As they neared the front, Kristin noticed there was a stage area with a podium and microphone; behind that was an organ. There were several large bouquets of flowers decorating the stage. The center of the stage appeared to be bare except for a casket stand; her heart sank. She was about to lean to her left to ask Jonathan if he knew about this casket business when a man she didn't recognize approached them-the memorial director, she assumed. He ushered Chief Crocker, Jonathan, Tim, Ben, and Miguel to the back.

Kristin felt a lump in her throat, assuming they were the pallbearers. She wondered then if Lucas had been asked…or if he hadn't…and guessed that might be a contributing factor as to why he was upset about this service. She made a mental note that she'd have to speak with him later when Secretary General Dre took the podium.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to honor the life of Nathan Hale Bridger and the men and women of Elysium Colony. Please, rise."

The organist began playing the 'Navy Hymn' as the procession began. Just as expected, the men, including Admiral Noyce, slowly began walking up the aisle, carrying a casket decorated with silver and gold naval scenes. A minister followed close behind, and when they reached the stage, placed the casket on the stand.

Lucas had been right, though. Seeing a casket and knowing it was empty really didn't help give her any closure whatsoever. In fact, Kristin didn't feel a shred of overwhelming sadness until she saw the admiral turn from the casket, tears streaming down his face. She'd never once seen him so overcome with emotion, and she couldn't help but feel the same way suddenly. Then when the minister began to speak, he said _that_ awful word.

"We're here to mourn the death of Nathan Bridger and all the members of Elysium Colony, all of whom were killed tragically just a few days ago."

Kristin hadn't meant to fall apart so quickly, but she suddenly felt a pained sob escape her throat. She put her hand over her mouth to muffle the sounds and attempted to swallow them…but to no avail. She felt Jonathan's arm go around her shoulders, and she allowed herself to bury her face in his shoulder for a few minutes until she was able to compose herself once again. She dabbed at her eyes, muttered a thank you, and pulled away once again.

"Are you sure you're all right now?" Jonathan asked with concern.

She offered him a weak smile and nodded. He put his hand over hers and gave it a squeeze as they both turned their attention back to the minister.

"Over the past couple of days, I've heard many wonderful things about Nathan. I've been told he was stubborn yet fair, a wonderful and dedicated military captain, and he cared about each and every single member of his crew." The minister paused for a few minutes. "And although I feel like I know a great deal about the type of man he was, I feel I cannot do him justice. Therefore, we have someone here who would like to speak on his behalf. Admiral, if you will, please?"

The admiral rose once again from where he'd been sitting, now composed. He took the podium and began softly, "I knew Nathan for-"His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. "Excuse me." After a moment, he began again. "I knew Nathan for over thirty years. We'd met way back when at the academy…but it seems like yesterday. We'd roomed together, met our wives and got married just a few months apart; even our children were born the same year. I never expected to meet someone that I would admire so much." He paused for a moment, took a handkerchief, and wiped his eyes. He then continued, "After his wife passed, Nathan had cut ties with the world and everyone in it…including me. I…I wondered if I'd ever see my friend again. Then, well, a little project known as _seaQuest _came to light, and I knew he had to captain it. It took a little coaxing, but…well, you all know what happened then."

Kristin felt her eyes brimming with tears as she heard soft sniffles around her.

"Being in the military, days like this happen. It's unfortunate, but they say it's the greatest honor to die for your country. The only problem is, I always thought I'd be the one going first." The admiral's voice shook with emotion. "I…I never wanted it to be this way. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Nathan, I hope…I know you're in a better place now, only I wish it were me. For you, it was too soon. I…I'll never forget you, my dear friend." The admiral then broke down in front of everyone, no longer able to hold his tears back.

Kristin couldn't control herself any longer either; she buried her face in her hands and sobbed softly as she heard others around her do the same. She felt Ben rub her back gently and whisper something to her, only she never really heard it.

The names of the fallen were then read off, though Kristin found it difficult to focus on that. Reality had set in, and all she wanted was to get away from it again, only she wasn't sure how.

**A/N: First, I'd like to apologize for not being able to update over the past couple of weeks. Real life was just too busy, but I'm back now, so I hope you're still with me. I do have another part of this chapter, but it was getting rather long. Therefore, I'm saving it for the next chapter. It was just a debate of whether to post them together or not. I decided I'd made you wait for this long enough, so expect the second part very soon. **

**Second, for those of you who are not familiar with the fandom, I'd like to provide a link for you since this chapter references the episode 'Give me Liberté', you can read the episode script here (eliminating the spaces and adding the proper punctuation, of course): http (colon, slash, slash) www {DOT} angelfire {DOT} com (slash) tv2 (slash) seaQuestDSV2032 (slash) liberte {DOT} html**

**Third, a huge thank you to MadameGiry25 for helping me work out a few kinks with the chapter. Thank you, my darling.**

**And finally, a sincere and heartfelt thank you to everyone for reading. I appreciate your support. **


	5. Soon You'll Please Their Appetite

**Chapter 5**

Kristin was relieved when the service ended. As people began to rise from their seats, all she wanted to do was find the exit and get away from the crowd. She turned to walk down the aisle when she felt someone catch her arm. It was Ben.

"Where are you running off to so soon?" he asked.

"Oh, I just…it's a little stuffy. I need some air," she replied, looking back toward the line of people filing out of the area.

"You feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. I just need some air, that's all," she said again.

"All right. I'll come find you in a little while." He paused. "You are going to the cemetery, aren't you?"

"I…I don't think so. I should really stay with Lucas. You…you all go on ahead."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I'll see you later." She gave his arm a gentle squeeze before turning once again. She then made a bee-line for the exit, not wanting to speak to anyone else. She pushed through the crowd and was relieved when she reached the exit.

She found the rest of the marina was just as crowded, however. The service guests assembled in small groups, talking quietly. She sighed and pushed past them, finding a vacant corner near one of the docks and away from the crowd.

Her eyes scanned the docks to where she had seen Lucas earlier; she was relieved to see he was still there. Now that she was alone, she suddenly felt as though she could breathe easier, though the overwhelming sadness she'd felt during the service still clung to her, a lump forming in her throat. She took several shaky breaths in an effort to compose herself; she wasn't sure if anyone would notice her shedding tears, but she didn't want the stares nor did she want any sort of comfort from people she hardly knew.

"There you are," she heard a familiar voice behind her say.

She shut her eyes tightly. _No, not Malcolm, of all people. _She bit her lip nervously and jumped slightly when she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry; am I interrupting something?" he asked. "I'd called your name back there, but you didn't seem to hear me."

She plastered a smile on her face and turned to face him then. "I just needed to get away for a bit. I wasn't expecting anyone to be looking for me. And I didn't…I wasn't expecting _you_ to be here."

"One of my best friends just died and you expect me not to be here?" Malcolm scoffed.

Kristin's smile faded. "That's not exactly what I meant."

Malcolm softened. "No…I know. It was just a little joke. You should know how I am by now."

Kristin gave a slight nod and then turned her attention back to the water. "I meant that I wasn't sure you'd be able to leave Caesar. How is he?"

"Oh, he's doing wonderfully. He's learned so much just in the short month we've been together. You really should see him." He paused. "I…I really wish you would have called after…"

"I thought you and Caesar should have time to bond," she replied quietly, "and I didn't want to get in the way of that. And besides, I didn't want you to get the wrong idea about us." She kept her eyes fixed on the water, not wanting to look him in the eye. "That goes both ways, you know. You could have just as easily contacted me."

There was a long, pregnant pause before Malcolm spoke again. "You thought you were pretty clever, didn't you?"

She turned to him, raising an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Well, it took me a while to figure it out, considering the first week or so, I barely had any time to myself. But once I got a routine down with Caesar, I was finally able to hear myself think again." He smiled softly at his own joke. "And you know what I kept asking myself? Why?"

"Malcolm, don't-"

"I kept asking myself what happened between us…why you would send me away. And then it dawned on me."

"I'd already told you my work was on the_ seaQuest_," Kristin stated. "There's nothing mysterious about that." She turned away from him again.

"Oh, come on, Kristin; you had a good time on my island. You loved working with the dolphins…and I thought we made a pretty good team together, don't you?"

She gave a shrug. "Perhaps, but-"

"So I asked myself why…if you were happy…would you want to walk away from that…walk away from me."

"Malcolm, please…do we really need to do this now? This isn't exactly the best time." She turned to face him again. "It was lovely to see you, but I really should go find Lucas. I'm very happy that you and Caesar are bonding, and I wish you the best of luck. Perhaps we'll speak soon." She turned to walk away, hoping he wouldn't say anything more.

"I just don't know why you couldn't have told me the truth," he called after her.

She stopped in her tracks and turned back to him. "What?"

He walked to where she was standing and put his hands on her shoulders. "Why didn't you just tell me you were in love with someone else?"

She shook her head. "That isn't…" She took her hands and gently removed his from her; she then crossed her arms over her chest. "You're sorely mistaken. I just…I knew you'd ask me to choose between you and the _seaQuest _eventually, and I…I just couldn't do that. I knew one or both of us would end up hurt in the end, and I thought we ought to break ties before either of us got too attached. End of story."

"Because you weren't in love with _me_," Malcolm insisted.

"Malcolm, I need to… I care for you, yes, but it takes me a bit longer to fall in love with someone."

He sighed. "Nathan always did have a way of charming the ladies. Did you know that I dated Carol first? A blind date; neither of us really had a good time. I introduced her to Nathan, and that was history."

"I don't think I understand," she said, her eyebrows knitting together.

"Everyone loved him."

Kristin turned back to the water again. "It was no secret we all loved Nathan. Every one of us cared for him."

Malcolm moved to stand next to her and whispered quietly, "Yeah, I can see that. It's written all over your face." And after a beat, he added, "Why didn't you just tell me you were in love with him?"

Her breath caught in her throat, realizing she'd been discovered. "Malcolm, I…"

"He didn't know, did he?"

She shook her head, unable to face him as that wretched lump in her throat grew larger and eyes filled with tears. Her hand rose to her mouth to muffle the soft cries that escaped.

Malcolm carefully placed his hands on her trembling shoulders. When she didn't pull away, he turned her to him and wrapped her in a hug. "I didn't mean…I wasn't trying to upset you."

She nodded her head against his shoulder. "I know," she said through her tears. "I just can't… I never thought…"

"I know," he told her, rubbing small circles on her back to calm her. "It came as a shock to all of us."

She took a few shaky breaths to calm herself. She pulled away from him gently and wiped the stray tears from her cheeks. "You…you know, he was jealous of you…with me," she choked out.

Malcolm laughed slightly. "He told you that?"

"Well, no; he wouldn't admit it, but he'd made it perfectly clear he wasn't very happy about me going to work on your island." She paused and took another deep breath. "That's when I knew I had to let you go. I…I had feelings for Nathan before you and I had started to become close, only I never thought they could be a possibility…that was until I found him giving me a lecture on sea deck."

"So he was pleased to see me go?"

"I think it helped ease his mind, yes…only I didn't tell him how I felt then either...and…and now I'll never have that chance."

Malcolm put his arm around her shoulders. "Please, don't cry. If I know Nathan, I'm sure he already knew."

"Perhaps, but I can't help thinking there are about a million things I would have done differently had I known what was going to happen."

"You know what you need? A vacation. Why don't you come to my island for a few days, get away from all this?" He held up his hands. "I promise, no funny business. I'd let you have the east wing all to yourself."

She smiled through her tears. "As appealing as that does sound, I really can't. Lucas isn't having a very easy time with this, and I don't think… I feel like I can't leave him. I don't think he'd fare well if I did, and I feel like I owe it to Nathan to look after him. I'd actually gotten an offer from a friend of mine to work with him here in Pearl for a little while. I was going to take him up on his offer, speak with the admiral and take a little time off…but with Lucas…I don't think I should." She turned her attention back to the dock where the young man was sitting.

Malcolm followed her gaze. "You could bring Lucas with you. You know he loves the dolphins, and I'd bet he'd love to see Caesar again."

"I appreciate what you're trying to do, but Lucas isn't going to leave Darwin right now," she replied with a sigh.

"Have you asked him?"

"What?" she asked, turning back to face him once again.

"If you're feeling the need to get away from all this, isn't it possible Lucas is too?"

"I don't-"

Malcolm took her hands in his. "New plan. Talk to the UEO and get that time off…and take Lucas with you. I have a condo right here in Pearl that I never use. It's all yours if you want it."

"Malcolm, I…I don't know what to say," she replied, looking back towards Lucas' form in the distance.

"Just say you'll think about it," he said. "I think it'll do the both of you a world of good."

Kristin gave a nod. "All right; I'll think about it."

"Good. I'm only in town for the next hour, but you know how to get a hold of me." He placed a kiss to her forehead. "You call me if you need anything, day or night."

She wrapped her arms around him in response. "I don't know how to thank you."

"It's the least I could do," he replied, returning the hug. Nathan would want me to look after you. Take care of yourself, Kristin."

"You too, Malcolm." She gave his hand a squeeze and she then turned to walk back down the dock.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

As she neared Lucas, she was relieved to see he had at least done what she'd asked and changed out of his wet suit.

"I thought you'd be going to the burial with the others?" he asked when he saw her walk towards him.

She shook her head. "No, I think I'd rather be here with you." She slipped off her shoes and sat down on the dock next to him.

"With me?" he asked, his brow furrowing.

She offered him a smile and put an arm around his shoulder. "Of course. Besides; you were right. Seeing that casket…it really didn't help me with any of this."

"I'm sorry."

She waved a hand. "Oh, it's not your fault. It was…it was a nice service, but I couldn't see it as being something the captain would have wanted." She paused for a moment. "Lucas, you're not upset about…did the admiral ask you if you wanted to be a pallbearer? Is that why you didn't want to attend the service?"

"No, I mean, he did ask me, don't worry. I just…I wasn't interested. Since I knew it wasn't what the captain wanted, I couldn't bring myself… It felt like a lie."

"I just wanted to check." She paused and motioned towards Darwin. "So did you two have a good time?"

Lucas shrugged. "I tried playing with him, but his heart doesn't seem to be in it."

"Well, he's just as sad as we are. He just needs time," she replied, giving Darwin's nose a gentle pat to which the dolphin squeaked and clicked in response. "I think he'll be fine, though." She thought for a moment. "You know, you've been out with him all day. What do you say you and I go across the street to the café there and get us some lunch?"

Lucas raised an eyebrow. "You're actually hungry?"

"Well, no, not really," she admitted, "but neither one of us is doing ourselves any favors by not eating." She stood and held out her hand to help him up. "It'll just be for a little while and then you can come back to sit with him if you'd like. Please?"

Lucas thought for a brief moment and then took her hand.

"Thank you," she said with a smile as she helped him and slipped on her shoes again. The two of them then walked across the street and walked inside.

The inside was small, but cheery. The walls were painted a sunshiny yellow and there were pictures of flowers everywhere. The smell of coffee and other delicious smells of whatever they were cooking in the kitchen wafted through the air.

The hostess, an older woman with dark hair and twinkling brown eyes, greeted them and showed them to a booth.

As she hurried off to get them some drinks, Kristin looked at the young man sitting across from her. "Now you order whatever you like. It's my treat."

Lucas smiled softly. "You don't need to do that…pay for my meal, I mean. I have money."

"Save that and buy something for yourself. This is something I want to do. No arguing, all right?"

He nodded after a minute and glanced down at his menu.

Kristin eyed him for another moment and then began to survey the menu in front of her, trying to decide what she'd like. Unfortunately, everything Malcolm had said to her weighed on her mind and prevented her from being able to concentrate. She set the menu down on the table and stared at him again.

Lucas noticed and looked up. "What?"

"Lucas…I… I'd like to ask you something, but I…I don't want you to take it the wrong way," she said, nervously wringing her hands.

Lucas set his menu down and reached across the table. "I know we've had a few tiffs, but that doesn't mean we can't talk."

She sighed. "I know…I…"

"What is it?"

She took a deep breath. "With the captain...gone, I was thinking…I'd like to take some time off…"

Lucas frowned. "You…you want to leave me?"

Kristin shook her head. "No, not at all. That's why I was hoping you'd come with me." She paused for a moment, searching his eyes for an answer. "It…it would only be for a little while. A week? Maybe two. I just…I think I need some time away from everything, and I think maybe you could use that too."

Lucas looked back down at his menu, not offering an answer.

"Of…of course, if you'd rather stay on _seaQuest_, that's fine. It's perfectly all right with me…whatever you'd like to do," she added. She gave his hand a squeeze. "Well, um, perhaps we should order. You take all the time you need to think about it." She then pulled her hand away and went back to looking through her menu.

"It's not that I don't want to go," Lucas said after a moment.

Kristin looked up. "Lucas, you don't need to explain."

"No, I mean…what about Darwin? I don't know if I could leave him," he replied, looking out the window towards the docks.

Kristin looked in the same direction. "Oh, I see.". She looked at him. "But you know, I'd already told you he'd be fine with time; you'll still be able to visit him until the _seaQuest _ships out again. And Darwin knows what a vacation is. If you explain to him you'll be back soon-"

"That's what the captain told us," Lucas said quietly, "and look how well that turned out."

Kristin sighed. "You don't need to come with me if you don't want to. I never said you had to. You're not going to have a problem if I go alone, are you?"

"Are…are you going to come back?"

"Oh, Lucas, of course I will. I'm going to be staying right here in Pearl," she assured him.

"I just…with the captain gone, I…there're not a lot of people left I can count on," Lucas replied, his voice trembling.

The lump in Kristin's throat returned at his words, and she had to blink back tears as she spoke with a strained voice. "Lucas, I'm not going to leave you for good; I promise." She reached across the table and gave his hand a squeeze. "I wouldn't dream of it."

He smiled and returned the gesture. "Thanks, Doc."

"Of course, sweetheart." She took her napkin and gently dabbed at her eyes. "Um, what do you say we forget this nonsense for a bit and just have a nice, quiet lunch, hm?"

Lucas nodded. "Sounds good."

The two ordered shortly thereafter and made small talk during the meal.

Right before they were ready to pay and leave, Lucas said, "Doc…do you think if we talked to Ben, he'd take care of Darwin for me?"

Kristin smiled. "I'm sure he would. So, are you saying you're going to come with me?"

Lucas nodded. "Yeah, I think it'll be good for us. Do you think the admiral will allow it?"

She shrugged. "I don't see why not. I was going to try to see him later. You want to come with me?"

"Is it all right if I don't? I'd rather spend a little more time with Darwin, explain to him what's going to happen."

She nodded. "Just don't go too far, all right?"

"I promise. I'll see you at dinner," he told her as he turned to leave.

"Sounds like a plan," she called to him as she paid the bill.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

After leaving the café, the first thing Kristin did was go back to the hotel to change into something more comfortable. Walking about in heels unless she had to was not her idea of a good time. After changing into a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and a pair of tennis shoes, she began to wonder if the others might have returned from the cemetery yet. That would mean the admiral would have some free time, too, she hoped.

No, the original plan was not to talk to the admiral for another day or two, but now that Lucas had agreed and Malcolm offered his condo, she was more than ready to get away for a while. Besides, it would probably be better to get it out in the open now. She nodded, as if justifying it to herself. She glanced at the clock. She and Lucas had been at lunch for over an hour, so it was quite possible the burial would be finished by now.

She debated giving the admiral's office a call, but she opted against it. She decided to just take a walk back to his office. If he wasn't back yet, then she'd wait. She made her way back outside and started towards the marina once again.

This time, she was relieved to find the marina was quiet; there were no signs of any of the memorial service guests. The roped off area had even been cleaned up already.

She glanced toward the parking lot; there were cars there, so she felt like it was a good sign, though she had no idea which car belong to the admiral. She pushed the door open and started walking down the long corridor. The admiral's office was located at the end of the hall.

As she got closer, she heard his voice, so she felt relieved; her relief quickly turned to panic, however, when she realized the talking was quite loud…more like yelling

"No, Nathan would never allow that!" she heard Bill say.

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, Nathan isn't here anymore!" General Thomas countered, his tone matching the admiral's. "That child should not be aboard the _seaQuest._ Without Nathan around to control him, who knows what kind of trouble he could cause?"

"He's not a wild animal," Bill replied. "And he's the best computer analyst we've got."

"We can find another. I want Wolenczak off the boat. I've already spoken with the secretary general."

"How could you do that, Frank?"

Kristin swallowed hard. This obviously didn't sound good. She'd never consider barging into the admiral's office, especially when he was in the middle of a 'meeting', but she thought she might be able to help…and the door was open.

She knocked gently on the door frame, and both men turned to see her.

"Kristin?" Bill said.

"I…I'm sorry for interrupting, but I couldn't help overhearing the conversation." She walked closer to them and eyed the general. "Lucas will not cause any trouble whatsoever, I assure you."

"I'd like to believe that, but he's really too much of a security risk; I've heard he's nearly been killed…more than once. If anything happens to him-"

"His father is well aware of the dangers that we face, and we've kept him alive this long," Kristin interrupted, her arms crossed over her chest. "I'm sure we can manage for the rest of the tour."

"But his father entrusted Nathan Bridger with his care, and Nathan is no longer with us," the general bellowed. "And I am not about to argue with a science officer, someone who has no military jurisdiction whatsoever!"

Kristin bit the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from saying anything horribly nasty, even though she was thinking it.

"I think what the doctor is saying is that Lucas is a valuable part of her science team," the admiral offered. "And Lucas was on the boat before Nathan even decided to captain it."

Kristin nodded, finding her voice again. She was sure to be a bit calmer when she spoke, hoping the general would follow suit. "We need Lucas to stay right where he is. I'll keep an eye on him. How about we make a deal?"

The general raised an eyebrow. "What kind of deal?"

"For the first two weeks_ seaQuest_ is back on tour, Lucas and I stay off the boat. We have an opportunity to help out a colleague of mine in the labs here. It's valuable research that will be very beneficial to problems we've encountered in the past. Then you let Lucas back on a trial basis. If in a month's time, you feel he's not working out, I'll personally explain to him myself why he needs to leave," she said. "What do you say?"

The admiral took her arm. "Kristin, are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I am very sure. You know as well as I do Lucas won't give us any trouble," she whispered.

"And who's going to take your place while you're away?" the general asked. "We can't just let the CMO leave whenever she'd like." He looked at Bill.

Bill sighed. "Science personnel are allowed just as much shore leave as the military, and she's only taken a week all year. Doctor Levin can handle things until she comes back."

The general nodded. "Very well. I've heard the labs are short-handed."

"So you'll accept?" Kristin asked the general.

"Yes, but if you or Wolenczak make one false move-"

Kristin held up a hand. "You have my word."

The general turned to Bill. "I suppose this discussion is over then. I'll explain it to Secretary Dre; don't worry." He then gave them both a nod and left the room.

Bill let out a breath. "He is the most frustrating man sometimes. I guess I should thank you for coming by when you did. I know we haven't gotten much of a chance to talk since…"

"I know…" she replied quietly.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Bill asked after a moment.

"I just think…after everything…I need some time. Lucas does, too. I…it hasn't been very easy."

"I understand. It's still quite a shock. You're holding up all right?"

She offered him a smile. "As well as can be expected." Then seeing the worried look he was giving her, she added, "I'm fine, really."

"If you need anything while you're away, don't hesitate to call. I'm not very far away."

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

"You'll use it if you need?"

"I promise. I'll keep in touch."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

**Somewhere in Australia**

Nathan slowly came to, coughing and choking on the dust of the dirt floor he was lying on. He tried to push himself up, but his head throbbed and the room spun. His hand instinctively rose to his forehead, as though it were going to ease the pain somehow. He shut his eyes and took several deep breaths, the pain lessening to a dull ache.

He opened his eyes again as the room he was in slowly came into focus. He couldn't see much since it was dark, save for a small window letting in a bit of pale light on the stone wall. There was a door with bars on it, which he was sure was locked. He didn't have the energy to attempt to get up and open it anyway.

He struggled to remember exactly what had happened, how he got there. The last thing he remembered was the colony and…_oh, no_. His heart sank as he remembered the explosion.

Just then, the door opened, the light from the hallway temporarily blinding Nathan so that he couldn't tell who it was. That was until he heard the figure speak.

"Well, well, well, I'm glad to see you've finally woken up," Bourne hissed in his ear as he knelt beside him. "And just how are you feeling?"

"Like hell," Nathan mumbled.

Bourne clicked his tongue. "Poor baby. That's to be expected, though. It happens to everyone in the beginning. It wears off in a week or so."

"What do you mean?" Nathan asked, trying to force himself up once again, but again, his throbbing head prevented it. He lay in a pitiful heap on the floor as he heard Bourne laugh quietly.

"The great Nathan Bridger," he mocked.

Suddenly, Nathan felt him take his arm and wrap a tourniquet around it. He tried to pull away, but Bourne placed a tight grip on his arm and Nathan was too weak to fight him.

"Now, now; you've been so good. Don't start fighting it now. We've only just begun."

"B-begun what?" Nathan stammered as he felt the poke of a needle. "What…what the_ hell_ are you doing to me?"

"Oh, I'm just playing God. But then, you know all about that, don't you?"

**A/N: For out-of-fandom readers, if you'd like to read the Hide and Seek episode, it can be found here: http (colon, slash, slash) www {DOT} angelfire {DOT} com/tv2/seaQuestDSV2032/hideandseek {DOT} html. Just be sure to omit the spaces and add the proper punctuation.**

**Also, thank you to Nans for the anonymous review. **


	6. They Devour

**Chapter 6**

**Pearl Harbor**

It wasn't until she walked outside that Kristin realized exactly what she had done. Oh, it wasn't that she didn't want to get away. That was the very reason why she was leaving, but she suddenly realized she'd be living with a teenager. _Alone. For two weeks_. Oh, sure, things were going well between Lucas and her now, but what if that changed? What if he became angry again? What if he wouldn't speak to her? Several 'what ifs' bombarded her now. She took a deep breath in an effort to rid herself of the worries when she heard a familiar voice.

"You look like a deer caught in headlights," Malcolm said as he approached her. "It didn't go well?"

"On the contrary, it actually did. Well, as well as can be expected anyway," she replied. "But I thought you were leaving town?"

"Change of plans. I thought I ought to stick around, just in case. That way I could hand you the keys in person." He dug in his pocket and handed her a set of keys and a card with an address written on it. "I unfortunately won't be able to give you the grand tour."

She waved a hand. "Oh, you've done so much for me already. I really don't know how to thank you."

"That smile on your face is enough," he answered. He put an arm around her shoulders. "But why did it fade so quickly? I thought you wanted to get away."

"I…I do. I'm just…" She sighed and shook her head. "It's…it's nothing."

"It certainly _looks _like something, but I'm not going to force you. Are you headed back to your hotel?"

"Yes…it's the Hilton; just a block away."

Malcolm offered his arm. "Well, at least let me walk you back."

Kristin hesitated for a brief moment. "You…you don't need to feel obligated, you know."

"I don't," he insisted. "I'm doing this because I care about you, okay? Don't argue, please."

She relented with a quiet apology, accepting his arm then.

The two walked in silence for a few minutes before Malcolm asked, "So when do you think you'll be leaving the hotel?"

"I'm not quite sure; probably not until tomorrow at least. I need to talk to Lucas and the rest of the senior staff, and I need to call Dr. Cooper."

"Lucas isn't going with you after all?"

"No, he is, actually. I should thank you for that. You…you were right… But he didn't know for sure if the admiral would allow us to have the time off, and I…I'm not even sure how I'm going to tell the rest of the crew."

"You think they won't like it?"

"No…I just…I think they're going to wish I wouldn't go, that's all," she replied. "With Nathan no longer being with us, I'm not sure they're going to be comfortable with the idea."

Malcolm stopped walking and put his hands on her shoulders. "I think you're worrying over nothing. If they care about you, and I know they do, they'll know you're doing what you need. And you will have Lucas."

She nodded and looked towards the docks.

"You're worried about him?" Malcolm guessed.

"What if I forget how to handle a teenager?"

Malcolm laughed slightly. "Aren't you the one who suggested I take care of a child-one who could barely communicate at first-by myself?"

She gave a silent nod.

"And look how well that turned out. I…I was scared to death, you know, but if I can handle that, I know you're going to be fine. You and Lucas already have a good relationship."

"Well, we did; things are a little strained now because of everything."

"That's to be expected," Malcolm replied. "You're both hurting, but I think that's going to help you both in the long run, spending a little time away from everything."

"Perhaps…"

"You're going to be fine, I know it. Strained does not mean broken."

She smiled softly. "When in the world did you become so wise?"

"Shocking, isn't it?" he said with a laugh. "Well, as you know, having someone else depend on you changes the way you look at the world."

She nodded and looked into his eyes. "So you really think I'm worrying over nothing?"

"Yeah, I think so. In all the time I've known you, I've never known you to shy away from anything. And if you can handle a dictator, I'm sure you can handle Lucas." He put his hand under her chin and lifted gently. "If you need anything while you're staying in Pearl, you give me a call, okay? Day or night, I don't care."

"I will; I promise." She hugged him then and laid her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for being here when I need you."

"Always," he whispered in her ear as he returned the hug.

Kristin felt herself become choked up again, but the last thing she wanted to do at the moment was sob on Malcolm's shoulder. She swallowed hard and blinked back the tears that filled her eyes. She then pulled away and cleared her throat. "Um, well…I suppose we should get back. I…I have a lot to do."

"Of course," he replied. "Just don't forget to take some time for yourself. You don't want to run yourself down."

"I promise."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

General Thomas knocked on the secretary general's office door and waited for to respond. When he heard a, "Come in," he opened the door and stepped inside. "Well, I-" He stopped short when he realized she was on the vid-phone.

She motioned with her hand for him to be quiet and motioned to the chair for him to have a seat. She had the screen turned towards her, so he couldn't tell who she was speaking to exactly. "I do appreciate your call. We'll be in touch." She cut the link and turned to the general expectantly, her hands folded on the desk in front of her. "How did it go?"

"Um, well, not exactly as planned."

She gave a slight laugh. "As if I didn't see that one coming a mile away."

"What?"

"Well, I did tell you that I didn't expect Bill to actually be keen on taking Wolenczak off the boat," she replied. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back in her chair. "So is he going to be pounding on my door any minute?"

Frank shook his head. "No, I, uh…made a deal of sorts."

"A deal? Enlighten me, please."

"Well, Doctor Westphalen barged in; she was apparently on her way to the admiral herself, and-"

"Yes, I know," Secretary Dre interrupted.

"You do?"

She smiled. "Continue, please…and then we'll get to that."

"Well, she apparently wanted a bit of time off to help deal with the loss of the captain, and she offered to take the Wolenczak kid with her. She then said that she'd promise to keep him in line and out of trouble and that if he does anything to jeopardize missions or what have you, he'd be off the boat. So I agreed to that."

She raised an eyebrow but didn't speak.

Frank suddenly became nervous at the secretary general's reaction. He wasn't quite sure if she was pleased or not. "You…you said it yourself Noyce wouldn't agree to it, and you were right. It wasn't going well. But that Doctor, she claims she'll watch him like Nathan did. I…I never did understand why they allowed that child on the boat in the first place."

"Well, that child was allowed on the boat because Doctor Wolenczak gave the UEO a substantial donation, and that child is also good at what he does. I'd told you it didn't matter to me whether he was on the boat or not; _you _were the one who was so adamant about him not being there."

"I-"

She stood and turned her back to him, retrieving a file folder from a cabinet. "So what exactly does Doctor Westphalen want to do with her time off?"

"I though you said you already knew."

She turned to him and offered a smile, only it didn't appear to be a kind one; her icy blue eyes appeared to bore straight into his brown ones, causing a slight shiver to run down the general's back. "I want to hear it from you," she said.

"Well, she's going to be working in the labs, helping out a colleague, she told me."

"You are aware, General, that we have several labs in various parts of the world, do you not?"

"Yes, but…"

"And you know never thought to ask which lab she was going to be working at?"

"She told me it's right here in Pearl." The general cleared his throat. "Is…is that a problem."

She tossed the file down on the desk in front of him. "Actually, it is."

"What are these?" he asked as he opened up the folder.

"Security clearance papers for Doctor Kristin Westphalen, required several months ago from Doctor Neil Cooper. Surely that name should ring a bell."

"I…I didn't realize…"

She laughed quietly. "Of course you didn't, which is why if I want something done, I need to do it myself. You're just lucky I'm one step ahead of you."

The general read the papers over for a few minutes and then closed the folder again. "I know how it looks, but it doesn't necessarily mean anything. She's only going to be interested in the science aspect. She's not going to put two and two together."

"You're sure about that?" Dre asked, raising a brow.

General Thomas didn't answer.

"Frankly, I'm not worried about Lucas Wolenczak, but you'd better hope and pray Doctor Westphalen doesn't stick her nose in where it doesn't belong. And if she does," she said pointing a finger at his chest, "_you'll_ be the one taking the fall."

He nodded. "I understand, Madam Secretary."

"Oh, Frank, are you really going to leave it up to fate?" she asked with a sigh. "You figure out a way to handle this, you hear me?"

He nodded. "Loud and clear."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once they reached the hotel, Malcolm said his goodbyes and went on his way, leaving Kristin alone in the lobby. She stood there for a moment, trying to decide who to speak with first. Lucas was no longer out by the docks, which she decided was probably a good thing. Perhaps he was having a little fun with the others. She decided she probably ought to speak with him first and go from there. Then they could tell the rest of the senior staff at dinner. And she'd give Neil a call later to tell him the good news. She gave a nod, justifying her plan to herself as she made her way towards the elevator.

Once upstairs, she walked down the corridor, somewhat relieved that she didn't happen to see any of the other crew members. She didn't want to have to explain anything to them yet, and she felt it best if she and Lucas talked to them all together. Even though Malcolm had told her not to worry, she was still a bit nervous at how they'd receive the news. She sighed and made her way towards Lucas' room, knocking gently on the door.

A few seconds later, it opened.

"I'm glad to see you finally came inside," she said gently. "Can I come in?"

He stepped aside and allowed her to pass. "Yeah, well, Ben and the others were going to go down to the pool, and they said I should go too. I guess it would be okay to have a little fun, right?"

"You're asking me?" she asked as she placed a hand to her chest. "Lucas, you don't need to answer to anyone. If you want to go swimming, that's not for anyone to judge. Do whatever you like."

"That's…that's not exactly what I meant." He paused for a minute as he moved to sit down on the bed. "I've never really had anyone close to me die before…not that I can remember, anyway. My grandfather died when I was really little, but I don't remember it." His blue eyes glistened with fresh tears when he caught her gaze. "I…I'm not sure what's appropriate. How…how should I act?"

Kristin sat down next to him and put her arm around his shoulders. "Oh, Lucas, there's no right or wrong. You just…you do what you feel you should do."

"You mean it's okay…to have fun?"

"Of course it is. If…if the captain were here right now, what do you think he'd say to you?"

He shrugged. "I don't really know."

She raised an eyebrow. "Really? I find that hard to believe."

"Fine, if he were here, he'd probably tell me to go have a little fun...that I've been working too hard."

She nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, he probably would. Does that make you feel better?"

He shrugged. "A little, I guess."

"Well," she replied, still absentmindedly running a hand through his hair, "perhaps this will help cheer you up. The admiral agreed to our time off."

"He did?"

"Yes, and we can leave as early as tomorrow, I've decided. Did…did I tell you I spoke with Malcolm earlier?"

Lucas shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Well, he's letting us use his condo here. It's right on the beach. That should be nice, shouldn't it?"

"It sounds great. How…how's Caesar?"

She smiled. "He's doing quite well. Perhaps we could all get together on our time off. Malcolm did say he'd love to see us again."

"That'd be awesome," he replied. He then wrapped his arms around her. "Thanks for the chat."

She returned the hug. "You're always welcome. I…I guess I'll leave you so you can meet the others. I need to make a few arrangements before tomorrow anyway." She stood to leave but then turned back to him. "Oh, and one other thing. Please don't mention this to any of the crew. I…I thought we'd talk to them tonight at dinner, okay?"

"Sounds good; see you then."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

When Kristin returned to her room, she decided she ought to tell Neil the good news…in person. She dialed his office number, hoping he'd be in.

A few moments later, Neil's smiling face appeared on the screen. Kristin noticed he looked a little older than the last time she'd seen him, his brown hair having little flecks of grey through it now. He took off his black-framed glasses and set them on the table in front of him, his blue-green eyes sparkling. "Kristin, to what do I owe the pleasure? I was very happy to receive your e-mail, by the way."

"Yes, well, you've only been hounding me about working with you for months," she teased. "How have you been?"

"Oh, you know; same old, same old," he said with a shrug. He paused. "I heard about the _seaQuest's _captain. I am so sorry."

She gave a nod, not wanting to dwell on it at the moment. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Um, well, that's exactly the reason I wanted to get away for a bit, so you're in luck. You have me for two weeks…and I found you some extra help as well."

Neil's smile faded. "Extra help?"

"Yes, Lucas Wolenczak. Now, I don't want you to be worried about his age. He might be young at seventeen, but he's the computer analyst aboard the boat, and he's…he's having a hard time with the situation, so I thought the time off would be good for him. He'll do whatever you ask him," she explained. But then, noticing the worried look on Neil's face, she asked, "What's wrong?"

"Kristin, I…I'm not sure how to tell you this. I guess I never explained to you, but then, I never thought it would be an issue. You do know my work is highly classified, don't you? Well, your friend, Lucas…he doesn't have the proper security clearance."

"Oh, is that all?" Kristin said. "I can take care of that. We're right here by the base; I can speak with the admiral or Secretary Dre and-"

"You don't understand; it takes at least a month for those papers to clear."

"Oh, dear," she muttered. But then she had a thought. "But how do_ I_ have the proper security clearance?"

"Well, I took the liberty of handling that after the first time I'd asked you. I had hoped you'd eventually take me up on my offer, and I wanted to be ready. The papers are good for a year, so…I was just covering my bases. If I'd known about Lucas, I would have taken care of his too. It's nothing personal, you see; my hands are just tied."

She sighed. "Well, that's my fault. I…I hadn't realized. Why exactly is it classified?"

"It's just that it's an experimental program. I'll explain more when you start. When are you starting, by the way?"

"Well, I thought perhaps tomorrow, but now, I'm going to have to make some changes because of Lucas." She sighed as she thought, cradling her chin in her hand.

After a few minutes, Neil said, "Maybe we can work something out after all."

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

Neil nodded. "Well, he can work in the main part of the lab, but he just wouldn't be able to enter the restricted area. Would that be all right?"

"I suppose it will have to do. I appreciate you allowing it."

"Hey, we need all the help we can get. People keep going left and right." He gave a slight laugh. "Really, the more hands, the better."

"That's what I hoped you'd say," she replied. "I…I'll explain it to Lucas. I'm sure he'll understand."

Just then, Kristin heard a knock at Neil's door. "I'm sorry to disturb you, Doctor, but we have a bit of an emergency," she heard a male voice say.

Neil turned back to her. "I…I really hate to leave, but…"

"It's perfectly all right. Um…I'll call you tomorrow once we get settled?"

"That should be fine. We'll talk then. Goodbye, Neil."

"Goodbye," he replied as the screen went black.

Kristin sighed as she ran her hands through her hair. Things were going so well, and now she was going to have to break it to Lucas that he'd probably be stuck doing boring paperwork for two weeks. _Well, maybe he won't mind the lull_, she thought. She shook her head a few minutes later. No, she knew she was probably kidding herself.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

**Australia**

"Hey!"

Nathan groaned upon feeling a rough shake on his shoulder.

"Hey!" the voice said again. "Wake up!"

Nathan tried to pry his eyes open, but his vision was blurred. He tried to focus on the face above him, but all he saw was a black and white blur.

"How are you feeling?" the voice asked.

_American. Not Bourne,_ Nathan realized after a moment. "Awful," he muttered.

"Yeah, that's to be expected," the voice replied. "That's the way it is for a few weeks or so. It wears off eventually."

"W-what?" Nathan tried to sit up; he was still lying on the dirt floor. He was still so weak, and his head spun when he lifted it just a few inches off the ground. He raised a hand to his forehead, and his stomach suddenly lurched. He had just enough energy to turn over and retch right where he lay.

When he was finished, he felt his arms being pulled up. "Yeah, you're going to be doing a lot of that too. Let's get you over here; at least you won't be lying in your own mess then."

Nathan could barely walk, and he still couldn't see well. Everything in the room blurred, and there was very little light to see anyway. But he suddenly felt something soft and squishy. _A mattress,_ he deduced.

"Lie down," the voice instructed. "That's really all you're going to be able to do for the next few days. After your next injection, though-"

"N-next injection?" Nathan choked out. "Why…why don't you just kill me instead? Wouldn't that…be a lot easier?"

The voice laughed. "That's not the plan, and Bourne wouldn't have it. That's why I'm here to watch you. We're all taking shifts." He paused for a moment. "Do you still feel nauseous?"

"Not right now…but the room's still spinning, and everything looks as though I'm staring at a funhouse mirror."

Another laugh. "Yeah, well, that proves it's working."

"What…what exactly is it? What did you inject me with?"

There was a bit of hesitation before the voice answered again, his voice lowered. "You're not supposed to know yet, but it was a virus."

"What…what kind of virus?" Nathan pressed.

"Can't tell you because I don't know exactly, but that's not really important. You won't die from it. It's just…just a way they use it to help you."

"Help? And…and who is they?"

Nathan then heard footsteps coming in the distance.

"Hey, Mason," he heard the voice say, sounding a little nervous now.

"Bourne sent me to make sure you were doing as you were told," Nathan heard the second voice say. "He wanted to remind you that you'd better not be getting too _friendly_ with you know who."

"Of…of course not. I know what to do."

"Right…well, he just wanted me to remind you. Don't forget to feed him, Larry."

Nathan then heard the footsteps walk back before Larry returned to his side. _ Larry Deon,_ he recalled, _the youngest member of Bourne's group. _

"Sorry about that," Larry replied. "I…I've said too much already. You'll just have to wait, but Bourne will tell you soon enough. A word of advice; just don't fight it. It'll be better that way."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

**Pearl Harbor**

Kristin sighed as she looked across the dinner table in the hotel restaurant later that evening. Someone from the senior staff had taken the liberty of getting them the private room in the back.

"What's the matter? Don't you like your dinner?" Ben asked from the seat next to her. "You've barely touched it."

Kristin looked up from her meal. "What did you say?"

Ben laughed lightly. "Well, I was wondering if you had anything against that carrot. You've been pushing it around your plate for the last fifteen minutes."

Kristin looked around the table and noticed the others were nearly finished with their meals. Her cheeks pinked visibly. "I'm just not very hungry," she said quietly. "It is good; I just…don't have much of an appetite."

"Well, it's been a long day for all of us," Katie piped up. "Tomorrow will probably be better."

"Things will start getting back to normal soon," Joshua added.

Chief Crocker shook his head. "Things aren't going to be normal for quite a while."

"Well, we need to try to conduct business as normal soon as best as we can," Commander Ford reminded them. He caught Kristin's gaze. "I had an interesting conversation with Admiral Noyce earlier."

Kristin's heart sank as she looked down at her hands.

"He says we should be returning to the water by next week," Jonathan continued.

There were several murmured responses around the table.

"Well, I say we make the best of it," Miguel said. "Do the best we can…for the captain."

The others agreed and then a thoughtful quietness fell over them as they finished up their meals.

Kristin decided it was really now or never; besides, she couldn't help but notice the questioning looks Lucas had been throwing her from just a few chairs away. She took her knife and tapped gently on her water glass, causing everyone to look at her. She stood and nervously cleared her throat. "Um, I suppose you're all wondering why I just did that. I…uh…I…" She paused and took a deep breath. "Look, it's no secret that this situation is hard on each and every one of us, and I'm not sure if any of you know it, but it's been…quite difficult for me to handle. That's why I've decided I'm taking some time off…and Lucas is coming with me."

There was a long pause before anyone said a word. Joshua was the first to speak, however. "Are…are you sure about this, Kristin?"

She nodded. "It wasn't an easy decision, but I…I think it's best in the long run. I've already cleared it with the admiral, and it will only be for two weeks. We'll be right here in Pearl, too."

Although there were several disappointed looks, she heard several positive and encouraging responses.

"It'll just be for a little while," Ben replied. "We understand completely."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

When dinner was over, Kristin lagged behind. She wanted to speak with Jonathan, so she waited until the other members of the crew filtered out of the room.

Jonathan then turned to her. "So two weeks in the UEO lab, huh?"

"You knew," she replied. "Admiral Noyce told you."

He nodded.

"I…I'm sorry I didn't tell you first. It was sort of a last-minute decision."

He held up a hand. "You don't need to explain."

"You mean you understand?"

"Of course I do." He put an arm around her shoulders. "I just hope you give us a call every once in a while and let us know how you two are doing."

She smiled. "I will; I promise."

"We'll get through this, you know. It's hard now…but eventually…"

"Yes, I know."

Jonathan gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Well, I suppose I should let you go. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," she confirmed. "Goodnight, Jonathan…and thank you for everything."

"Goodnight," he called as the two parted ways.

Kristin let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding in as she walked back towards the elevator. That had been relatively easy; she wasn't sure why she'd been so nervous before. Well, perhaps that meant the news about the lab wouldn't be so difficult to break to Lucas after all. She only hoped, but she decided she'd save that for the morning. It had been a long day, and she was exhausted.

**A/N: My apologies for taking a bit longer with this chapter than I intended. **

**Also, thanks again to Nans for the anonymous review. **


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